IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Robots‌ ‌can‌ ‌free‌ ‌people‌ ‌from‌ ‌difficult‌ ‌and‌ ‌dangerous‌ ‌work.‌ ‌However,‌ ‌some‌ ‌people‌ ‌are‌ ‌worried‌ ‌about‌ ‌the‌ ‌possible‌ ‌dangers‌ ‌robots‌ ‌may‌ ‌create. ‌‌Discuss‌ ‌the‌ ‌benefits‌‌ ‌of‌ ‌using‌ ‌robots‌ ‌and‌ ‌the‌ ‌‌possible‌ ‌dangers‌‌ ‌from‌ ‌it.‌ ‌

It is a
controvertial
Correct your spelling
controversial
 issue that
robots
Use synonyms
 may create some dangerous
work
Use synonyms
possibly
Punctuation problem
, possibly
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they
also
Linking Words
 have many benefits.I reckon that using
robots
Use synonyms
 makes
life
Use synonyms
 more convenient ,
also
Linking Words
 has some
dangers
Use synonyms
 from it
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,using
robots
Use synonyms
 can make
peple
Correct your spelling
people
 away from the
high
Correct word choice
heavy
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 needed
going
Wrong verb form
to go to
show examples
 high positions in some construction
work
Use synonyms
 in the past,which
causes
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
 dropping down
dangers
Use synonyms
.Now,
people
Use synonyms
 can use
robots
Use synonyms
 which can do
some
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
similar
work
Use synonyms
 ,
such
Linking Words
 as building houses and painting walls.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
robots
Use synonyms
 can
make
Verb problem
help
show examples
 individuals tackle some issues
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 number counting.In many stores and banks,
people
Use synonyms
 there are supposed to make sure
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
show examples
right
Verb problem
are right
show examples
. If the clients count these bills,it may lead to some details
ignored
Verb problem
being ignored
show examples
.Using
robots
Use synonyms
 to do
this
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
couting
Correct your spelling
counting
 numbers and enquiring
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
bills
Punctuation problem
bills,
show examples
 is able to save time and free
people
Use synonyms
 in order to do more
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 in the working situation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, using
robots
Use synonyms
 has many merits for creating a convenient
life
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,there are
also
Linking Words
 some
dangers
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 using
robots
Use synonyms
 in our daily
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Actually,
robots
Use synonyms
 are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
machines.When
people
Use synonyms
 use them,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the robots
show examples
robots
Fix the agreement mistake
robot
show examples
 system may
take
Verb problem
break
show examples
 broken
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can not find the
question
Check wording
problem
show examples
 in time,which
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not contribute to
Use synonyms
work
Replace the word
working
show examples
 well.And sometimes,some
robots
Use synonyms
 have suddenly boom and hurt
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.So,there are some
dangers
Use synonyms
 in using
robots
Use synonyms
. In short,using
robots
Use synonyms
 makes
life
Use synonyms
 more convenient in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contemporary society
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some possible
dangers
Use synonyms
 in using progress at the same time.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your writing first. Make a short plan with the main idea for each paragraph.
task response
Give each idea a clear and simple example. Do not add many ideas at once.
grammar
Check spelling and use easy grammar. Short, clear sentences help a lot.
coherence
Use one idea per paragraph and use linking words like also, but, so to connect ideas.
coherence
End with a short, clear closing sentence that restates your view.
content
The essay tries to show both good and bad sides of robots.
structure
The essay uses a basic plan with first, second, and a closing idea.
language
You use simple and clear words in many places.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • monotonous tasks
  • intellectually stimulating
  • hazardous environments
  • job displacement
  • economic output
  • lower-skilled workers
  • dependency
  • critical skills
  • ethical concerns
  • security concerns
  • unlawful purposes
  • dilemmas
  • autonomous vehicles
What to do next:
Look at other essays: