IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bestway to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is widely believed that the most effective way of reducing
crime
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 among the youth is by educating
parents
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 about proper parenting
skills
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.
While
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 there are some drawbacks, I completely agree with
this
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 view. One major reason why I am totally convinced that parental education is imperative for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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crime
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 reduction among the middle-aged generation is that most of them see their guidance as role models.
This
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 is because children always want to be like their
parents
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,
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;
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as a result
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, they imitate whatever they see their guidance do.
Consequently
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,
this
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 has a significant impact on how they behave. If there are teachings available for
parents
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 to learn good behavioural
skills
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,
such
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 as showing respect, using good manners, and taking responsibility, eventually young learners will pick up on these
skills
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 from their
parents
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.
For example
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, a child who often hears his or her
parents
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 saying thank you in their daily conversation
,
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apply
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 would likely do the same when communicating with others outside. Another reason why I strongly agree that
parents
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 should be taught good parental
skills
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 to reduce the
crime
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 rate is that it would be a cheaper option for the government. If the authorities allocated funds towards educating
parents
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, there would be fewer crimes to solve.
For example
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, when youths destroy playground amenities, the government would have to spend money fixing those damages.
Therefore
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,
this
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 will lead to more financial wastage, which could have been avoided if the public sector had educated
parents
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 on good parenting
skills
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. In conclusion, I believe that schooling
parents
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 on how to be better
parents
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 is the most productive way to reduce
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crime
Correct article usage
the crime
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 rate among mature individuals.
This
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 is because it helps the state save financially, and
parents
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 are often seen as role models.

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task
Plan your answer. Start with a clear main idea, then give two or three reasons. End with a short wrap up.
coherence
Keep ideas in a clean line. Use small links like 'first,' 'then,' 'also,' and 'but' to move from one point to the next.
language
Give more clear, real examples. Use simple facts or events you can name to show your point.
content
The writer shows a clear view and a firm stance.
coherence
There is a good use of simple links to move from one idea to the next.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • parenting education
  • behavioural strategies
  • family relationships
  • communication
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • peer pressure
  • societal issues
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • comprehensive community programs
  • law enforcement
  • legal consequences
  • deter
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