Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they age, while others think they should stay home with family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.)

A lot of
parents
Use synonyms
force their young individuals to leave
home
Use synonyms
when they become adults, others’ opinion is
they
Correct word choice
that they
show examples
should stay
home
Use synonyms
with family. Personally, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
when young people become young
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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adult
Punctuation problem
adult,
show examples
they should leave
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
home
Use synonyms
to
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
without them
,
Punctuation problem
.
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Linking Words
further
Fix capitalization
Further
show examples
below
some
Punctuation problem
, some
show examples
arguments will
provided
Verb problem
be provided
show examples
. On the one hand, when children become
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
adult
Punctuation problem
adult,
show examples
they should leave
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
home
Use synonyms
without any words
and
Correct word choice
or
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emotions. What I mean by
this
Linking Words
is when children become
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
adult
Punctuation problem
adult,
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they have to make
plan
Correct article usage
a plan
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something
Change preposition
for something
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to do in the future or at university.
In addition
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, not all
parents
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can afford their university tuition or their stuff,
such
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as
cloth
Use the right word
clothes
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,
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
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and food.
For instance
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, in one
family
Punctuation problem
family,
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have
average
Correct article usage
an average
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3
Change preposition
of 3
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or 4 children, which means after
eldest
Correct article usage
the eldest
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brother or
sister
Punctuation problem
sister,
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they
got
Verb problem
have
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siblings.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
siblings
Linking Words
also should
Correct word order
should also
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study something and
parents
Use synonyms
have to work hard again.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
reason why young adults should leave
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
family’s
home
Use synonyms
. To clarify, after being about 19 or 20 years old
Use synonyms
parents
Punctuation problem
, parents
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start to say get a job or study hard to
become
Verb problem
pursue
show examples
your profession. Not only that
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
also
Linking Words
try to manipulate or upbringing
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
in that
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
you will definitely
going to
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
rage bait or stress.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, young adults
after
Punctuation problem
, after
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leaving their
parents
Use synonyms
home
Use synonyms
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
become more mature. To explain, after leaving their
Use synonyms
home
Punctuation problem
home,
show examples
they definitely rent a
home
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and get a job. That thing helps them
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
socialize
Change the spelling
socialise
show examples
and learn something from strangers. As an illustration, not all people, especially
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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graduate
universities
Change preposition
from universities
show examples
such
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as Harvard, MIT or
Oxford
Punctuation problem
Oxford,
show examples
do not work on their dream job.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
they become just common employees because of family issues and not working on themself.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, not everyone
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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to leave the
home
Use synonyms
because they might be single or
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
show examples
son, what I am going to clarify is
in that
Correct word order
that in
show examples
type moments they should stay with their family. In that case,
parents
Use synonyms
might feel loneliness. What I will give as an example is
after
Correct word choice
that after
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single
Correct article usage
the single
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or youngest
sons
Fix the agreement mistake
son
show examples
leaving
Wrong verb form
leaves
show examples
their family’s
home
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
parents
Punctuation problem
, parents
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going
Wrong verb form
go
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to
stay
Verb problem
live
show examples
alone
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
in
this
Linking Words
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
no one lives infinite, which means they will age
forward
Rephrase
apply
show examples
and they will need someone’s help. In a nutshell,
although
Linking Words
there are many beneficial and unbeneficial consequences,
Linking Words
however
Rephrase
apply
show examples
I firmly believe that if there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
any siblings to stay with
parents
Use synonyms
, the eldest
brothers
Fix the agreement mistake
brother
show examples
should leave the
home
Use synonyms
and help them by financial help.

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planning
Plan your essay with four parts: intro, two body ideas, and a short end. Put your own view at the end.
planning
Say your view clearly in the intro and in the end. Use the main plan to guide your writing.
development
Give one idea at a time. Explain it with a small fact or example that fits.
cohesion
Use simple linking words to move from one idea to the next, like but, also, then, next.
grammar
Check your grammar and spell simple words correctly. Short sentences can help.
content
You try to discuss both sides of the topic.
structure
There is a basic paragraph shape with a start idea.
effort
You give an example to back up an idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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