IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The quality of life in some big cities is becoming worse every year. What is the main cause of this problem? What solution could you suggest?

It is often believed nowadays that city
life
Use synonyms
 has lost its charm, and it is not as amazing to live as it used to be in the past, mainly
due to
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 the increase in pollution and health-related issues.
This
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 essay will
further
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 highlight the topic and will recommend some ways to make the current state better. The primary cause behind the poor quality of
life
Use synonyms
 is the unpurified air in which individuals are living, which affects their breathing pattern that causing asthma.
Moreover
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, a significant number of
people
Use synonyms
 are relocating to urban areas as enterprises in cities offer various job opportunities to individuals with high remuneration.
Subsequently
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, the number of automobiles on the roads would surge
according to
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 the growth of the population.It is estimated that the pollution level is 65%more in the decade
due to
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 carbon emissions by vehicles.Eventually, it not only affects the health status of
people
Use synonyms
 ,
such
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 as asthma , but
also
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 interrupts their daily routines
due to
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 traffic. To tackle
this
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 underlying issue balanced approach by the government can improve the quality of
life
Use synonyms
 of residents.Authorities should provide more vacancies in underdeveloped regions or less populated areas so that job seekers can move there and fulfil their desire.
Moreover
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,provision of other essential services
such
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 as multi-speciality hospitals,educational institutions and cinemas in rural regions.Eventually, these remedies can divide the growth
people
Use synonyms
 , and there will be less population in one particular region , like big cities.
To conclude
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, pollution has been driving
people
Use synonyms
 away from the
leisures
Use the right word
pleasures
show examples
 of city
life
Use synonyms
, but
this
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 issue can easily be solved if local and communal authorities make it a priority and work towards its betterment.

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weakness
The essay answers the task but not in full depth. It gives main ideas (cause and solution) but needs more details and clear evidence.
tip
Make each idea clear and add steps or examples to show how the solution will work.
strength
The way the text is built is easy to read, with a plan and a short end. The intro and the end are there.
tip
Link the ideas with easy words so the flow is smooth. Use joining words like first, also, but, so.
tip
The main points should be simple and true. Be careful with facts like numbers; if you use them, make sure they fit.
tip
Avoid long and hard to read sentences. Break into short lines each with one idea.
content
The writer uses a clear plan with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion.
content
The topic is kept in focus and the writer tries to offer a solution.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • quality of life
  • big cities
  • pollution
  • health problems
  • overcrowding
  • housing
  • traffic
  • public services
  • transport
  • healthcare
  • green spaces
  • parks
  • nature
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • stress
  • unhappiness
  • problems
  • solution
  • suggest
  • affect
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