IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A lot of people believe it is wrong to keep
animals
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 in
zoos
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,
while
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 others think
zoos
Use synonyms
 are both entertaining and ecologically important. Personally, I believe that keeping
animals
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 in
zoos
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 is neither completely right nor completely wrong. Below, I will explain my opinion with some examples. On the one hand, keeping
animals
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 in
zoos
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 can be beneficial for their safety and breeding.
Zoos
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 provide a safe environment for herbivores and allow them to live longer lives.
In addition
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,
animals
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 in
zoos
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 receive daily care from professional zookeepers, so visitors need not worry about their well-being.
For example
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, seeing
animals
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 in
zoos
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 can inspire young people to learn more about them, and some may even decide to become zookeepers or conservationists in the future.
Furthermore
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, many
animals
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 bred in
zoos
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 are eventually released into protected areas, where they can live more freely in larger spaces away from human disturbances.
On the other hand
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, keeping
animals
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 in
zoos
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 is not always ideal
due to
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 environmental concerns. Not all
zoos
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 are modern or comfortable, and in some places,
animals
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 may not receive proper care.
For instance
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,
animals
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 in poorly managed
zoos
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 might suffer from
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of food or medical attention.
In addition
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, sick
animals
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 could pose a health risk to visitors, especially children with weaker immune systems. Parents may need to take extra precautions,
such
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 as wearing masks, when visiting old or low-budget
zoos
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. In conclusion,
although
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 there are drawbacks, I believe keeping
animals
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 in
zoos
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 can be justified because they receive proper care and protection.
However
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, it is important to ensure that
zoos
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 provide suitable environments that respect the
animals
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’ natural needs and freedom.

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task
For task response, give a clear view in the intro and restate it in the end. Add more facts that show both sides.
coherence
For coherence, keep one main idea in each paragraph and use linking words to show how ideas fit.
structure
Good essay structure with intro, two body parts, and conclusion.
coherence
Clear use of on the one hand and on the other hand to show both sides.
argument
Examples show the idea of how zoos can help people learn and think about animals.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • captivity
  • natural habitat
  • artificial enclosures
  • genetic diversity
  • animal welfare
  • conservation efforts
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • education platform
  • breeding programs
  • reintroduction
  • psychological suffering
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