IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. Do the advantages of living in a foreign country outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
The contemporary era has witnessed an unprecedented surge in transnational mobility, with a substantial demographic relocating abroad for extended durations in pursuit of vocational or academic enrichment.
While
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 expatriation inherently presents formidable transitional hurdles, I fervently contend that the immense cognitive and professional dividends unequivocally outweigh the initial socio-cultural drawbacks.
Body paragraph 1
Admittedly,
acclimatizing
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acclimatising
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 to an alien socio-cultural paradigm can precipitate profound psychological distress. Expatriates frequently grapple with the multifaceted phenomenon of culture shock, compounded by linguistic impediments and the
agonizing
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agonising
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 severance of established domestic support networks.
For instance
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, international scholars or migrant professionals often experience acute
marginalization
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marginalisation
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 during their nascent months of relocation, as they navigate esoteric societal norms and bureaucratic labyrinths without their customary familial scaffolding.
Consequently
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,
this
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 transient alienation can
catalyze
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catalyse
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 detrimental impacts on an individual’s mental equilibrium, rendering the initial phase of cross-border integration undeniably arduous.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, the prodigious long-term benefits derived from international immersion vastly eclipse these temporary adversities. Foremost among these is the acquisition of a globally competitive skill set and heightened cross-cultural competence, which are indispensable in today’s interconnected macroeconomic landscape. Individuals who immerse themselves in top-notch foreign academic institutions or corporate environments cultivate an invaluable cosmopolitan perspective, thereby amplifying their cognitive flexibility and
overall
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 employability. To illustrate, multinational conglomerates disproportionately
favor
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favour
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 candidates possessing substantive international experience, as
such
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 exposure inherently fosters adaptability and pragmatic problem-solving capabilities.
Therefore
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, the strategic advantage of cultivating a transnational professional network constitutes an unparalleled asset.
Conclusion
Overall
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,
while
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 navigating the treacherous waters of cultural dislocation and emotional isolation is undeniably challenging, the profound intellectual evolution and accelerated career trajectories afforded by global relocation are decisively superior. Ultimately, embracing transnational mobility remains a quintessential catalyst for both profound personal maturation and sustained socio-economic advancement.

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task response
Your answer has a clear view: the good sides are greater than the bad sides. You explain both sides, but give a little more space to why the good sides are greater. This will make your main view even stronger.
task response
Your ideas are clear and stay on the topic. Add one more real and simple example, such as a student who gets a better job after study abroad, to make the main claim feel more solid.
task response
Some words are very hard and may hide your meaning. Use more common words when possible. For example, say "moving abroad" instead of "transnational mobility" and "problems at first" instead of "initial socio-cultural drawbacks".
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a strong shape: an opening, one paragraph on problems, one paragraph on good points, and a final ending. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your links between ideas are clear, especially "Admittedly", "Nevertheless", and "Overall". Do not use too many formal link words in one essay; simple links such as "however", "for example", and "as a result" can sound more natural.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long and have many ideas. Break a few of them into two shorter sentences. This will make the writing clearer and easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Keep key words the same across the essay. You use several names for the same idea, such as "expatriation", "relocation", and "global relocation". Using "living abroad" more often would help the flow.
task response
You answer the main question directly and keep the same view from the start to the end.
task response
The points about better work chances, new skills, and learning about other cultures are useful and well linked to living abroad.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has a clear main idea, an explanation, and an example.
coherence and cohesion
The final paragraph clearly brings the two sides together and restates your main view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural exposure
  • Diversity
  • Personal growth
  • Language skills
  • Career opportunities
  • Networking
  • Professional connections
  • Enhanced education
  • Learning
  • Language barrier
  • Communication difficulties
  • Homesickness
  • Isolation
  • Cultural differences
  • Adaptation challenges
  • Financial constraints
  • Cost of living
  • Legal complexities
  • Administrative complexities
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