The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

The argument about the total amount of working time per
week
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has been continuously debated in the
last
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decade, with some people believing that the weekend should be longer and the working days should be reduced. From my point of view, I disagree with
this
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statement and the reasons for that will be discussed in the following paragraphs. There are several detrimental effects to reducing the number of office hours, with the most prominent one being that it may severely affect the productivity of a company.
This
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is because with the current working schedule of forty hours per
week
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, many employees still struggle to meet their deadlines, and some individuals have to spend the weekend working overtime to complete their tasks.
Thus
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, reducing the total amount of business days per
week
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may cause some firms to fall behind their schedules, leading to turmoil in their business.
For instance
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,
instead
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of cutting their total working duration, many companies in Vietnam have to make their employees work on Saturday mornings to achieve their targets.
Moreover
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, shorter working time may bring about negative effects on workers as it may affect their salary and increase discontent among citizens. Simply put, by cutting down the total working hours, enterprises will take longer to achieve their annual target, causing the revenue to be depleted. So in order to maintain their finances, corporations will have to cut employees’ salaries and incentives. The amount of money reduced will vary greatly in each country, making it harder to pay for fundamental necessities
such
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as food and electricity.
Conversely
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, enterprises could extend the weekend
while
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also
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extending the office time to pursue their financial goals.
This
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,
however
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, may take a toll on workers’ mental health as they will struggle to balance their work and private life. In the long run,
this
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will
also
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harm the economy and citizens as well. In conclusion, reducing the working
week
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may damage enterprises and have negative impacts on workers as they may receive a lower salary and potentially face mental issues.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which is great. However, providing a brief overview of the main points you will discuss could enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay has a logical flow, there are some areas where cohesion could be improved, particularly in the transitions between points. Consider using more linking phrases to guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to another.
task achievement
You provide good examples, but incorporating more specific data or studies could strengthen your arguments and help to support your claims more effectively.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the argument and successfully developed your views in a structured manner.
coherence and cohesion
Your sentences are generally well-constructed and convey your ideas effectively, demonstrating a good command of English vocabulary and grammar.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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