IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays famous people are photographed by professional photographers everywhere they go. Some people say this is a good thing because the public are interested in their lives. Other people think that photographers are wrong to follow famous people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Whether
people
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 think that celebrities are good to be taken photos by professional
photographers
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 or it is actually a bother is a topic of considerable debate. I strongly believe that keeping a moderate distance from famous
people
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 is far better, as they need some personal space as well. One major reason to impose some restrictions on
photographers
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 is to give famous
people
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 personal privacy.
This
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 reason reflects positive public awareness. Celebrities show up at public occasions
such
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 as press conferences or any public event,
although
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 photography is normally allowed, that doesn't mean it can be unlimited.
For example
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, imagine that you were a movie star, it is acceptable to be photographed at a public occasion
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
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, you don't want to be bothered by
photographers
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 during private time.
Therefore
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,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 certain rule of photography for famous
people
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is necessary
Verb problem
needs
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 to be acknowledged. An additional reason for my stance is the negative
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 of famous
people
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. Well-known
people
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 should be aware
of
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apply
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that they are always being watched at
anytime
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any time
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, even during holidays.
Although
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this
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 kind of situation sounds immoral, it is inevitable for most of them.
Hence
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, it is necessary for them to avoid negative behaviour.
For instance
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, some famous stars,
such
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 as actors or singers, take drugs because they are so rich that to
afford
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can afford
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 them.
This
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 is definitely a bad demonstration
,
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;
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 their behaviour can be exposed easily to the general public.
Accordingly
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, famous
people
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 should mind their behaviour, as they are impossible to hide
form
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from
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photographers
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 all the time. In conclusion, taking photos of famous
people
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 is acceptable, as long as they do it moderately
,
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apply
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 and know that privacy is
also
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 important, just like the general public.

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task response
Task response shows a clear view, but you should speak more evenly for both sides and use more strong reasons.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion need better links. Use clear topic sentences and simple, small links to join ideas.
task position
The writer takes a clear stand and gives a conclusion.
content
There is a sense of privacy issue and a use of examples such as public events.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Celebrity status
  • Public interest
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Mental health impact
  • Media scrutiny
  • Personal freedom
  • Ethical considerations
  • Public figure
  • Consent
  • Balance
  • Surveillance
  • Unwanted photography
  • Admiration
  • Inspiration
  • Intrusive
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