IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy too difficult to learn. so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rathan than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some people believe that
subjects
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such
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 as
mathematics
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 and
philosophy
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 are too difficult for certain children and should
therefore
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 be optional rather than compulsory.
Although
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 these
subjects
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 can be challenging for many
students
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, I largely disagree with the idea that they should be removed from the core curriculum because they play a vital role in intellectual development. On the one hand, it is understandable why some individuals support making these
subjects
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 optional. Children have different learning abilities, interests, and strengths. For
students
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 who consistently struggle with complex
subjects
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 like
mathematics
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 or
philosophy
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, compulsory study may cause stress and frustration.
This
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 pressure can negatively affect their confidence and motivation to learn. If
students
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 were given more freedom to choose their
subjects
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, they might focus on areas where they feel more capable and engaged, which could improve their academic performance and
overall
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 attitude toward education.
On the other hand
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,
mathematics
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 and
philosophy
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 are essential for developing important life skills.
Mathematics
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 teaches logical reasoning, problem-solving, and analytical thinking, all of which are necessary in everyday situations and a wide range of careers.
Similarly
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,
philosophy
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 encourages
students
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 to question ideas, think critically, and form well-reasoned opinions. These cognitive skills are not only useful in academic settings but
also
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 in making informed decisions in adult life. Removing these
subjects
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 from compulsory education could limit
students
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’ intellectual growth and future opportunities. In my opinion,
instead
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 of making these
subjects
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 optional, schools should improve teaching strategies and provide additional support for some learners,
they
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as they
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 are fundamental to a well-rounded education.
Therefore
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, they should remain compulsory
while
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 schools focus on helping all
students
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 succeed.

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development
Add one clear example or fact to show how math or philosophy helps later life.
coherence
Link ideas by showing how one point leads to another.
organization
Make each paragraph tight: one idea per paragraph with a tight link to the thesis.
task response
Clear stance on the topic.
coherence
Good structure with an introduction, body and conclusion.
content
Reasoning on why subjects matter.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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