IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays businesses face problems with new employees who just finished their education and lack some interpersonal skills such as the ability to work in a team. What do you think is the main cause of the problem? How can it be resolved?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that many businesses struggle with newly graduated employees who lack important interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as teamwork and effective communication.
Although
Linking Words
 these young workers often possess strong academic knowledge, their limited social abilities create challenges in the workplace. The main cause of
this
Linking Words
 problem and possible solutions will be examined in
this
Linking Words
 essay. One of the most obvious reasons is that modern education systems place heavy emphasis on academic achievement rather than practical social development. To illustrate, students spend most of their time preparing for exams, completing individual assignments, and competing for high grades.
For instance
Linking Words
, many schools prioritise test scores over group-based activities, which reduces opportunities for students to practise cooperation and communication.
Furthermore
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, excessive use of technology has decreased face-to-face interaction. To clarify, young people now communicate mainly through social media and messaging apps, which limits their ability to develop real-life interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as body language, negotiation, and conflict resolution. Another point that should not be overlooked is that
this
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 problem can be addressed through changes in both education and workplace training. To illustrate, schools and universities should incorporate more group projects, presentations, and collaborative tasks into their curricula.
For example
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, requiring students to work in teams and assess each other’s performance can help develop cooperation and responsibility.
In addition
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, companies can provide induction programs and interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
 training for new employees. To clarify, workshops focusing on communication, teamwork, and professional behaviour can help graduates adjust more quickly to workplace expectations. To recapitulate, it is evident that the main cause of poor interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
 among new employees is an education system that prioritises academic success over social development.
Therefore
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, it is necessary that educational institutions and employers work together to ensure that young people graduate with both technical knowledge and strong interpersonal abilities.

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task response
State your answer clearly at the start of the essay and end with a strong summary.
task response
Use more real and clear examples to show your point, not just general notes.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with simple words that show order, like first, next, also, however, and finally.
coherence cohesion
Make some sentences shorter so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
coherence cohesion
Keep one clear idea in each paragraph; check that every sentence adds to that idea.
strength
The essay has a clear plan with an intro, body and conclusion.
strength
There is a good flow of ideas from cause to solution.
strength
The writer uses linking words to show how ideas are connected.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • practical skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • teamwork capabilities
  • workforce
  • effective collaboration
  • mandatory internships
  • real-world work experience
  • project-based learning
  • educational curriculum
  • simulate real-world scenarios
  • mentorship programs
  • workshops
  • supportive environment
  • collaborate
  • internship programs
  • curriculum
  • graduate
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