IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Topic: Some people believe that students should wear school uniforms, while others disagree

Nowadays,
school
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uniforms
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 are widely discussed.
While
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 some people believe that
students
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 should wear
uniforms
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, others hold the view that
this
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 is unnecessary. In my opinion,
school
Use synonyms
uniforms
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 are beneficial, as they create a more focused and equal learning environment. First of all, one strong reason for
this
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 view is that
uniforms
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 reduce social pressure among
students
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.
For example
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, when everyone wears the same clothes,
students
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 are less likely to compare brands or styles.
This
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 clearly shows why
school
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uniforms
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 are a practical and effective choice.
Secondly
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, another important point is that
uniforms
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 improve discipline at
school
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.
This
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 matters because
students
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 tend to follow rules more easily when clear standards are set.
As a result
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, classrooms become more
organized
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organised
show examples
, which benefits
students
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 and teachers alike.
On the other hand
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, it is true that some people prefer allowing
students
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 to choose their own clothes. They argue that
this
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 helps children express their individuality.
However
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, I find
this
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 argument less convincing, as discipline and equality are more significant in the long run. In conclusion, I support
school
Use synonyms
uniforms
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 mainly because they reduce pressure and improve discipline.
Although
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 other viewpoints exist, I believe
this
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 is the most reasonable position
overall
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.

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task response
The view is clear and you give two main reasons. To push the score higher, add more details for each point and give more real life or school cases to back your reasons.
coherence cohesion
Your plan is easy to follow. You use good link words like First of all, Secondly, On the other hand, In conclusion. To rise more, make each paragraph link back to your main idea and use more variety of linking words.
position
Clear view from the start and a short end that restates it.
organization
Good flow with steps that show how ideas are linked.
example
The idea that uniforms cut social pressure is stated simply and fits the task.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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