IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.” Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is believed that
zoos
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 should be banned because it is inhuman to keep
animals
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 in cages, but other
people
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 think that it can be helpful for the conservation of endangered
species
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. I will discuss both views
along with
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 my opinion in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, keeping
animals
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 in captivity affects them mentally. These wild
animals
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 are not naturally developed to be habituated in small cages. especially a big-sized creature,
such
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 as a Tiger and a bear. They need to be physically active, which is not possible in a small area.
For instance
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, it has been seen in many wild bears that they become depressed and more aggressive in the wild sanctuaries and die before their natural age.
On the other hand
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,
Zoos
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 help to protect many endangered
species
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, but
also
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 spread awareness and provide economic benefits. There are many
species
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 that are not possible to conserve in a natural environment, like in a forest,
such
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 as the Panda. So
zoos
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 are an absolute place to keep them safe.
Apart from
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this
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,
zoos
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 help to educate
people
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 about the importance of wildlife and provide regional economic benefits by creating jobs and through visitors.
For example
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, there is a big national park open in the capital of India, visited by thousands of
people
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 every day, and
people
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 are working inside as cleaners and guides. In conclusion,
while
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 sheltering wild
animals
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 can be detrimental for them, it can
also
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 be an effective solution to save a number of
species
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 from extinction and certainly help to boost the local economy.

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task
For a stronger task response, make your own view clear early and add more simple, strong examples that support your view. Ensure every paragraph stays on the main idea.
coherence
For coherence, link ideas with easy words and clear flow. Use simple transitions to move between ideas. Each paragraph should have one big idea with a few details.
structure
Clear plan with introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
content
It discusses both sides and gives a final view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal welfare
  • conservation
  • captive breeding
  • habitat
  • ethical issues
  • zoochosis
  • endangered species
  • genetic diversity
  • reintroduction programs
  • wildlife education
  • sanctuary
  • natural living conditions
  • artificial environments
  • behavioral enrichment
  • ecosystem
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