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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries unemployment is high, so some people think that children should only go to primary school and not to secondary school because they will not be able to find jobs in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that unemployment remains a serious issue in some countries, leading to concerns about young people’s future job prospects.
As a result
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, some people argue that children should only receive primary
education
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 and not continue to secondary
school
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, as they may still struggle to find employment later in life.
Although
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 some agree with
this
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 view, I am opposed to it
due to
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 several reasons, which will be examined in
this
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 essay. One of the most apparent reasons is that limiting
education
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 to primary
school
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 can significantly reduce children’s long-term opportunities. To illustrate, secondary
education
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 provides essential academic knowledge, critical thinking skills, and basic qualifications that are required in most modern workplaces.
For instance
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, even low-skilled jobs increasingly demand literacy, numeracy, and problem-solving abilities, which are
further
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 developed at the secondary level rather than in primary
school
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 alone. Another point that should not be overlooked is that
education
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 plays a broader role than merely preparing students for immediate employment. To clarify, secondary
education
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 helps young people develop social skills, discipline, and adaptability, which are valuable regardless of economic conditions.
For example
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, individuals who complete secondary
school
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 are generally better equipped to pursue vocational training, higher
education
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, or new career paths when job markets change,
whereas
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 those with minimal
education
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 may struggle to adapt. To recapitulate, it is evident that
although
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 unemployment is a genuine concern, restricting children’s
education
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 to primary
school
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 would do more harm than good.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that children should be encouraged to continue their
education
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 beyond primary
school
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, as secondary
education
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 increases long-term employability, personal development, and the ability to respond effectively to future economic challenges.

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task response
Keep a clear view. Say you disagree and give two or three big reasons. End with a short line on the other view.
coherence cohesion
Use simple joins like also, but, so, for example to move from idea to idea.
structure
Put one idea in each paragraph. Start with a short intro that tells what you will say, and end with a short close.
grammar
Read the long lines and keep them short. Use plain words in all parts.
content
Add a small, clear example for each idea to show it in life. Use simple ideas for the example.
vocabulary
Try to use only common words. A few hard word makes it hard to read.
content
Clear view with a strong stance.
form
Good structure with clear intro, body, and conclusion.
style
Easy to read and follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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