IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outwiegh the disadvantages?

According to
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 many experts,
children
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 should start learning a foreign
language
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 in primary
school
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 before going to secondary
school
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. Because primary
school
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 students are more interested and develop new skills in less time. First of all, during primary
school
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 ,
children
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's brains are in a developmental stage
and
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, and
show examples
 they are naturally inclined towards learning a new skill , like a foreign
language
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. So, they can easily master a foreign
language
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 in less time
,
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apply
show examples
 if schools started teaching them in primary schools.
For example
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, it has been seen that
children
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 who started learning French in primary
school
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 have a better grasp of French compared to
children
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 who started learning later on in secondary
school
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.
On the other hand
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, learning a new
language
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 sometimes proved to be a challenge, because it requires some skills,like a better memory, a good IQ, and a strong understanding of words.
This
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 is hard for primary
school
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children
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 to develop.
Hence
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, it might put an extra burden on
children
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 and can compromise other subjects' performances.
For instance
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, a drop in
overall
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 academic performance has been seen in
children
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 who are studying a foreign
language
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.
To conclude
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,
while
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 it can be quite difficult for primary
school
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children
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 to learn a new
language
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 but during
this
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 age, they can learn easily because their developing brains have a good grasp on learning new languages.

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task response
State a clear view in the intro and restate it in the end.
task response
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and add one strong example that links to that idea.
coherence
Use simple linking words (first, next, also, because, but, so) to show how ideas fit.
coherence
Check full stops and commas. Avoid long sentences. Make each sentence clear.
task response
The essay tries to show both sides of the issue.
coherence
There are clear parts with linking words like First of all and On the other hand.
task response
An example about French is used to show a point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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