Some people think that parents should be punished if their children commit crimes because they are responsible for their children's actions To what extent do you agree or disagree
Many, if not all, people think that
parents
have the biggest influence on their children's lives. Therefore
, some people believe that parents
should bear the punishment for the crimes their children commit. In my opinion, parents
should face a penalty for the actions
of the child
to a certain extent.
There are a few notable moments over the past decade - for instance
, the death of Harambe was one of them. The story went viral on social media, with everyone expressing their feelings over Harambe being put down after a child
fell into his enclosure at the zoo. An innocent animal faced an unexcusable ending due to
no fault of his own. Many people thought this
to be unfair and that the mother should be held accountable for allowing the child
to get so close to the edge. It was one of the unifying stories of the decade where almost everyone wanted justice for Harambe. In this
, we face the notion that guardians are responsible for their children and thus
they deserve punishment for the actions
of the child
.
A more recent example is the ruling which states that parents
of suicide school shooters in the States should be reprimanded for the terrorist activities of their child
. Those teenagers who shoot up a school and then
turn the gun on themselves, do not face the penalties of their actions
, thus
since justice must be served, the parents
are charged as accessories. Unfortunately, this
is more of a grey area in my opinion. Most school shooters are teenagers and anyone who knows about child
-rearing understands the difficulties of raising a teen. They are more exposed to the world and have different influences. In this
case, there may not be a direct link between the actions
of the child
and the upbringing of the parent.
in conclusion, I believe everything should be examined as a case-by-case situation. There must be a direct link between the crimes of the child
and the influence of the parent in order for them to be charged. Then
, and only then
, is there a valid reason for doing so.Submitted by patelmeera on
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coherence cohesion
You have made a very good effort in organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with a structured introduction and conclusion. Your examples are specific and relevant, which strengthens your points. To improve, try to add a bit more variety in your sentence structures and ensure that each paragraph seamlessly flows into the next. Address potential counterarguments to show a deeper level of analysis.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively, providing relevant examples and a well-thought-out opinion. To further enhance your task achievement score, make sure to explicitly state your stance in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. This will enhance clarity for the examiner.
introduction conclusion present
Clear introduction and conclusion helps in understanding your viewpoint.
relevant specific examples
Relevant and specific examples that effectively illustrate your points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite