Some people say that spending time to develop a successful career is the most important things. Others say that spending time with friends and family is more important.

Some individuals believe that devoting
time
Use synonyms
to improve a future career is the most significant
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
. Others argue that spending
time
Use synonyms
with close relationships is more essential. In my opinion ,
people
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have to keep a
balance
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. On the one hand,
people
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try to earn a lot of money for a wealthy life. That's why many young
people
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work
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so much.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
70% of
young
Correct article usage
the young
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generation works 12 hours in day.
As a result
Linking Words
, the majority of wealthy
people
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live in the USA.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some inhabitants prefer to
invent
Verb problem
spend
show examples
time
Use synonyms
with family and friends.
The spending
Correct determiner usage
Spending
show examples
time
Use synonyms
with family members improves a mental health of human; speaking from the heart, drinking a cup of tea and hugging them. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
value
this
Linking Words
kind of warm
moments
Fix the agreement mistake
moment
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, many Uzbek individuals appreciate being together, especially eating palov, cooking palov together. Citizens are friendly and kind
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
each other.
From
Change preposition
In
show examples
my opinion of view,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
keeping a
balance
Use synonyms
is the best solution. Both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
aspects, spending
time
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at
work
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and with
family
Punctuation problem
family,
show examples
are
crutial
Correct your spelling
crucial
. It helps achieve harmony between
work
Use synonyms
and family. If
people
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spend
time
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only with family, they cannot earn much money.
As a result
Linking Words
, it
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
lead
Wrong verb form
led
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to unhappiness
them
Change preposition
for them
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, if young
people
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work
Use synonyms
a lot, they can lose
warm
Replace the word
warmth
show examples
and love between family and friends. That's why
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
keeping a
balance
Use synonyms
is significant.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
korean
Fix capitalization
Korean
show examples
people
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try to keep a
balance
Use synonyms
. They strive to
work
Use synonyms
5/6 hours
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a day and find
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
work
Use synonyms
with a high salary. It
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
really improved their life
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
good
Correct article usage
the good
show examples
side. In conclusion, some inhabitants believe that spending
time
Use synonyms
to develop future
work
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with
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
salary is the most important
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
. Others claim that passing
time
Use synonyms
with family members and friends is more significant. In my opinion of view,
people
Use synonyms
should keep a
balance
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Be clear about your view in the first line and keep it in every part of the essay.
coherence
Make each paragraph a single idea with a simple topic sentence. Use linking words to show how ideas go to the next one.
language
Use short, plain sentences. Check spelling and grammar so ideas are easy to see.
example
Give a short, true example for each idea and keep it close to the main point.
content
You show some good ideas on both sides.
structure
You use real examples from life in some places.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career
  • family
  • friends
  • time
  • work
  • life
  • job
  • money
  • happy
  • sad
  • plan
  • balance
  • choice
  • view
  • opinion
  • reason
  • example
  • learn
  • growth
  • skill
  • success
  • goal
  • support
  • stress
  • health
  • together
  • relax
  • enjoy
  • limit
  • schedule
  • boundary
  • future
  • care
  • value
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