Many children today are overweight. This is a serious health problem. Give the reasons for this and give solutions to help fix this problem.

Society is different today
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
that includes the eating habits of most
children
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, many
children
Use synonyms
suffer from being overweight.
This
Linking Words
is a huge
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
serious health problem.
This
Linking Words
essay will examine the reasons and solutions for being overweight. On the one hand, there are many reasons why
children
Use synonyms
are overweight. First , many
children
Use synonyms
eat fast food .
For example
Linking Words
, they eat fries and burgers .
However
Linking Words
, they contain many calories
making
Punctuation problem
, making
show examples
this
Linking Words
extremely unhealthy to eat. Second, bad parental control makes them eat more .
For instance
Linking Words
, if families show some healthy care for their
children
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
they will do the same care .
Third,
Linking Words
most
children
Use synonyms
do not do any exercise.
For example
Linking Words
, they do not go to the gym or play sports.
However
Linking Words
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some solutions to fix
this
Linking Words
serious problem . Primarily, good parents can push them to lose weight .
As well as
Linking Words
when their family supports them , they will do some exercise . Second , they can eat healthy food
instead
Linking Words
of fast food .
For instance
Linking Words
, they can depend on salad
instead
Linking Words
of fries .
Thirdly
Linking Words
, they can go to the gym and work hard to lose weight and burn calories .
As well as
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
should be encouraged to play sports and do some family activities. In conclusion , it is clear to see that there are many reasons why
children
Use synonyms
are overweight today.
However
Linking Words
, there are some excellent solutions to solve
this
Linking Words
problem .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Make clear para breaks: one for reasons, one for fixes, plus a short intro and ending.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like first, then, also, and give clear signposts to flow.
language
Check grammar: fix 'lose weight' and avoid wrong use of 'on the one hand' pieces.
vocabulary
Use only plain, normal words. Avoid hard words beyond the top 100.
content
The essay shows the issue and gives both causes and ways to help.
coherence
Basic ideas are clear and easy to read.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: