IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Nowadays, young people admire stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

There is no doubt that
now a days
Use the right word
nowadays
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 young people
admires
Correct subject-verb agreement
admire
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 stars though they often do not set a good example,
And
Fix capitalization
and
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 as
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 believe that, it is a
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
 development
i'm
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I'm
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 going to
metion
Correct your spelling
mention
 several reasons. One of the main reasons is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 young people imitate the actions and
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
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 of their idols
,
Punctuation problem
. This
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this
Linking Words
 is because young
adults
Use synonyms
 lack reasoning skills
Linking Words
in
Punctuation problem
; in
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 other
words
Punctuation problem
words,
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 young people would follow the actions of their idols.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 young
adults
Use synonyms
 might smoke cigarettes only
becuse
Correct your spelling
because
 they were
influnced
Correct your spelling
influenced
 by their idols who smoke. Another important note is that young
adults
Use synonyms
 are most prone to peer pressure
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it could lead them to be influenced as groups and
results
Replace the word
resulting
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 in bad
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
Punctuation problem
. This
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this
Linking Words
 can be seen in students who refuse to obey their teachers. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 think it is
extremely
Correct article usage
an extremely
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
 development as it leads young
adults
Use synonyms
 to be
influneced
Correct your spelling
influenced
 by bad
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.

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task response
Task response: State a clear stance in the intro, give 2-3 strong points, and end with a precise conclusion. Add more varied and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use clear paragraphs. Link ideas with words (for example, because, but, also). Keep a simple flow from intro to body to conclusion.
task response
Clear view is shown and the topic is named.
coherence cohesion
Some real life ideas are used (idol influence, peer pressure).
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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