IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In contemporary society, everyone should have equal opportunities in education. Therefore, universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In modern Society, equal
acces
Correct your spelling
access
 to education is
extrimly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 important. Because of
this
Linking Words
, some people believe that
universities
Use synonyms
 should accept the same number of male and female
students
Use synonyms
 in every matter.
As a result
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,
this
Linking Words
 idea has become broadly discussed, as it may have both positive and negative sides. On one hand, accepting the same
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of men and
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 in all
Use synonyms
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
 subjects could be a huge step in
gender
Use synonyms
 equality. In many countries, some majors are still dominated by one
gender
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, men often study engineering,
while
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 women are more common in
psicology
Correct your spelling
psychology
 or education.
Therefore
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, equal
numbers
Use synonyms
 could reduce
steriotypes
Correct your spelling
stereotypes
 and encourage
students
Use synonyms
 to choose their courses without any judgment
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
In addition
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, mixed
gender
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 classrooms can
Provide
Fix capitalization
provide
show examples
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 opinions and
expiriences
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experiences
,
wich
Use the right word
which
show examples
 may improve learning.
For
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this
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 reason,
gender
Use synonyms
 balance could create a fairer and more inclusive education system. On the other side, there are
also
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 strong arguments
aginst
Use the right word
against
show examples
this
Linking Words
 idea. First of all, university places should be
giving
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
 based on ability, grades, and interest rather than
gender
Use synonyms
. In reality, more
students
Use synonyms
 of one
gender
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 may apply for
certains
Correct your spelling
certain
 majors.
As a result
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, strict rules about equal
numbers
Use synonyms
 could mean that some qualified Persons are gonna be rejected
unfeirly
Correct your spelling
unfairly
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if more women apply for
Psicology
Correct your spelling
Psychology
. Limiting places to achieve balance may cause
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
universities
Use synonyms
lower
Verb problem
to lower
show examples
 their academic standards to fit in those
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 do not have the best applications and skills for
this
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 subject.
Moreover
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,
students
Use synonyms
 should have the
feedom
Correct your spelling
freedom
 to choose what they want to study without pressure. In conclusión,
while
Linking Words
 accepting equal
numbers
Use synonyms
 al male and female
students
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 may help reduce
gender
Use synonyms
 inequality, it can create practical problems.
Linking Words
Overall
Punctuation problem
Overall,
show examples
 a balanced method is required, where
universities
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 support equal opportunities without forcing exact
gender
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numbers
Use synonyms
 in each major.

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structure
Use a clear view in the first paragraph and keep it until the end.
coherence
Make topic sentences for each paragraph to show main idea.
language
Fix spelling and grammar errors so ideas are easy to read.
language
Stick to simple words and short sentences to share ideas.
grammar
Avoid long, mixed ideas in one sentence; break them in two.
content
The essay tries to show both sides of the issue.
structure
It has a short conclusion with a view on balance.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Equal opportunities
  • Gender equality
  • Stereotypes
  • Diverse
  • Gender disparity
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
  • Humanities
  • Quotas
  • Reverse discrimination
  • Meritocracy
  • Tokenism
  • Workforce
  • Leadership roles
  • Aptitude-based
  • Scholarships
  • Economic growth
  • Innovation
  • Social stability
  • Comparative analysis
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