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Writing Samples
Band 5

In contemporary society, everyone should have equal opportunities in education. Therefore, universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s society, many people believe that everyone should have the same opportunities in education. Some think that universities should accept equal numbers of men and women in every subject. I completely agree that there should be equal opportunity
,
Punctuation problem
;
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Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 I do not believe that forcing equal numbers is the right solution. First of all, students should be free to choose what they want to study regardless of
gender
Use synonyms
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 true equality means giving people the same chance to enter a field based on interest and ability, not limiting them because of
gender
Use synonyms
 rules. If universities focus only on balancing numbers, some qualified applicants may lose their place.
This
Linking Words
 would go against my idea of fairness.
For example
Linking Words
, if a woman wants to study
finances
Fix the agreement mistake
finance
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, or a man wants to do fashion, they should be accepted
according to
Linking Words
 their skills, not their
gender
Use synonyms
. And second of all, differences in the number of men and women in certain subjects are often caused by personal preferences. I believe that many people choose careers based on interests, culture, or future goals, not discrimination.
This
Linking Words
 explains why some courses attract more of one
gender
Use synonyms
 than the other. As an example, fewer women often choose careers
such
Linking Words
 as accounting,
while
Linking Words
 more are interested in healthcare, education or psychology. Forcing equal enrolment would ignore these choices and could end up reducing motivation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, admission should be based on clear rules
such
Linking Words
 as grades or application time, which allows everyone a fair chance regarding
Use synonyms
gender
Correct article usage
the gender
show examples
 equality issue.

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conclusion
Add a short ending line that restates your view.
coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas fit together.
examples
Give one or two more real or simple examples to show your point.
grammar
Keep long sentences short; try to split long ideas into two parts.
lexis
Use simple words and stay in easy words; avoid hard words.
content
Clear view on equal chance for all, not on just numbers.
structure
Good use of 'First of all', 'For example' to show steps.
examples
Examples show why choice should be by skill, not gender.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Equal opportunities
  • Gender equality
  • Stereotypes
  • Diverse
  • Gender disparity
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
  • Humanities
  • Quotas
  • Reverse discrimination
  • Meritocracy
  • Tokenism
  • Workforce
  • Leadership roles
  • Aptitude-based
  • Scholarships
  • Economic growth
  • Innovation
  • Social stability
  • Comparative analysis
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