IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

This
Linking Words
 bar chart illustrates the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 in three London museums, comparing the figures over the given period from 2007 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the National Gallery remained the highest figure, demonstrating an
overall
Linking Words
 upward trajectory. The Victoria and Albert
Museum
Use synonyms
 rose steadily but
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
In addition
Linking Words
, the British
Museum
Use synonyms
 showed a similar upward pattern and
finally
Linking Words
 declined steadily over time. In terms of museums, the National Gallery experienced a gradual increase
approximately from
Correct word order
from approximately
show examples
 6
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2007 to 7
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2008. Later,
visitors
Use synonyms
 continued to rise steadily from 8 in 2009 to roughly 12 in 2010 and remained unchanged until 2011.
This
Linking Words
 trend continued to climb steadily before reaching its highest number of 16
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2012.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the Victoria and Albert
Museum
Use synonyms
 remained stable approximately
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
13
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2007 to 2008, and fell sharply
nearly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to 8
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2009.
Next,
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
museums
Fix the agreement mistake
museum
show examples
 declined steadily to 6
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2010 and continued to rise steadily to 7
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2011.
This
Linking Words
 figure rose and fell several times before reaching its highest point of 10
visitors
Use synonyms
 by the end of the period.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the British
Museum
Use synonyms
 witnessed
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
12
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2007 and dropped significantly to 6
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2008, and remained unchanged until 2009. Despite a gradual increase from 2009 to 7
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2010, and rose significantly to 12
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2011.
Finally
Linking Words
,
visitors
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the British
Museum
Use synonyms
 climbed steadily to roughly 14
visitors
Use synonyms
 over time.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally, overall".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, museum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "climb" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • increase
  • rise
  • grow
  • go up
  • decrease
  • fall
  • drop
  • decline
  • fluctuate
  • rise steadily
  • fall gradually
  • stay the same
  • stay steady
  • peak
  • highest
  • lowest
  • more
  • less
  • compared with
  • in
  • over
  • the
  • period
  • year
  • between
  • across
  • pattern
  • trend
  • difference
  • overall
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