the graph shows data about the annual earnnings of 3 bakeries in calgary in 2000-2010

The given graph compares three different bakery shops in terms of annual income between 2000 and 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be clearly seen that

Use synonyms

Mari

Check wording

Mari's

show examples

shop had the highest

profit

Use synonyms

in the initial

years

Use synonyms

of the period;

however

Linking Words

, by the end, the other two shops overtook it.

In addition

Linking Words

, it is interesting to note that only

Use synonyms

Mari

Check wording

Mari's

show examples

shop’s income decreased. In the first half, nothing happened to Amandini’s revenue. It kept a

profit

Use synonyms

of 58,000

USD

Use synonyms

until 2005, but

Mari

Use synonyms

bakery

Fix capitalization

Bakery

show examples

experienced a big drop from almost 81,000 to 62,000

USD

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

Bolo increased its

profit

Use synonyms

to twice the initial value (20,000

USD

Use synonyms

). In the next five

years

Use synonyms

, both Amandini and Bolo overtook

Mari

Use synonyms

. In the initial

years

Use synonyms

of the second half of the period,

Mari

Use synonyms

and Amandini had a similar level of income;

however

Linking Words

, Amandini almost doubled its

profit

Use synonyms

and reached 105,000

USD

Use synonyms

Mari

Use synonyms

continued decreasing, and in the final

Use synonyms

years

Add a comma

years,

show examples

it lost another 20,000

USD

Use synonyms

. Bolo again increased its earnings by 20,000

USD

Use synonyms

, and its annual

profit

Use synonyms

reached 63,000

USD

Use synonyms

abdulvosid20090308

Feb 11, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words mari, profit, years, usd with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

172 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

annual earnings
trend
revenue
profit
fluctuations
significant
increase/decrease
peak
diverge/converge
strategy
market environment
competition
growth
performance
analysis
speculation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people believe that university students should be required to attend classes. Others believe that going to classes should be optional for students. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In recent years, many have acknowledged that university education plays a crucial role in personal development and self-growth. In this context, some argue that college students should broaden their horizons by exploring subjects beyond their primary field of study, while others contend that focusing solely on their chosen discipline is essential for mastery and academic success. Both viewpoints have their merits: expanding one's learning can foster intellectual versatility and new perspectives, whereas concentrating on a single field promotes deep expertise. This essay will explore both perspectives and explain why I believe a balanced approach is the most advantageous.
6
band
The best way to improve standards in education is to ensure that class sizes are small. Do you agree or disagree?
Having smaller class sizes is suggested to be the most effective means of enhancing educational standards. I completely agree with this assertion for two principal reasons.
7
band
Some people think that homework is unnecessary and should be banned in schools. Do you agree or disagree?
There is a debate about the relative importance of homework which is being given in schools, with some arguing that it is unimportant and should be forbidden. Although giving homework has significant positive effects on enhancing overall comprehension, In my view, there are a number of destructive influences that can lead to lethargy and a lack of time to do other leisure activities.
7
band
It is often tought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this issue?
In contemporary society, juvenile delinquency has consistently been a topic of interest among the masses. While there are compelling arguments in favour of those more and more violent elements in media increase the crime rate among teenagers, there are also significant reasons to approach it with scepticism. Despite its contentious nature, I am inclined to oppose the viewpoint, as I believe the main reason should be the workaholic parents. Also, this essay will discuss some solutions to the problem.
7.5
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
Many people these days decide to work for themselves instead of being employed by others. This essay discusses the reasons for this and also the drawbacks of this choice of career.

the graph shows data about the annual earnnings of 3 bakeries in calgary in 2000-2010

The best way to improve standards in education is to ensure that class sizes are small. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that homework is unnecessary and should be banned in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

It is often tought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this issue?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?