IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Smacking children is the best form of discipline. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers with relevant examples.

Some
people
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 think
,
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apply
show examples
 that smacking children might change their behaviour in a positive way. I strongly disagree with
this
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 statement, and in
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will provide some reasons for my opinion.
Firstly
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, it is impossible to build a healthy and supportive relationship in a family where parents physically punish a
child
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. After any form of violence
child
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 is frightened of the person who caused the stress.
While
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 the person supposed to be authority, mentor and a friend for a
child
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, he becomes someone whom the
child
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 indicates as a danger,
as a result
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, it causes inner conflict. There are numerous psychological articles and books regarding children's mental health, where authors
referring
Wrong verb form
refer
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 to research
,
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apply
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 that children start behaving worse after punishments. Lies and avoidance of communication increase with the age of the youngster.
Furthermore
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, in adulthood,
people
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 who were punished by their parents often have mental health
issuse
Correct your spelling
issues
. Another major reason, that it is illegal in many countries and is considered equal to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
domestic violence. Any
child
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 is not physically strong and mentally mature enough to resist. A good example is Germany, where there is a strong family institution, and if somebody smacks a
child
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 in a public place,
people
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 around will call
inspection
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the police,
show examples
 and it can cause the cancellation of
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 parental status. Afterwards, it is complicated to get your rights back.
To conclude
Linking Words
, from my perspective, smacking doesn't have any positive results and should be forbidden in all countries, even though other
people
Use synonyms
 can have
other
Correct word choice
a different
show examples
 opinion. Mainly, it causes only mental problems and strained relations rather than discipline.

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strength
Your view is clear and you give strong reasons.
recommendation
Use more real life examples or facts to back up points.
language
Fix spelling and grammar errors to make the text easy to read.
strategy
Show a more balanced view, even when you strongly disagree, by noting a possible opposite view.
coherence
Link ideas smoothly between sentences and paragraphs.
content
Clear stance against smacking.
structure
Good use of linking words like Firstly, Another major reason, To conclude.
coherence
Paragraphs have clear main ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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