IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that technology has greatly improved the quality of education, while others argue that it has had a negative impact on students’ learning.

Nowadays
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 some
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
 it has become a form of
entertainment
Use synonyms
 rather than buying something, which is really essential. I believe it is a negative development and can have harmful consequences.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it may lead to overspending. When people go
shopping
Punctuation problem
shopping,
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 they usually impulsively buy unnecessary items and spend a lot more money than they would if they hadn’t gone shopping. It can lead to financial issues like borrowing money from the banks and paying high interest rates.
Secondly
Linking Words
, shopping
in
Change preposition
as
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 a form of
entertainment
Use synonyms
 might increase the
throw away
Use the right word
throwaway
show examples
 culture in society.
For example
Linking Words
, purchasing items without thinking about the impact they might have on the environment can be the cause of pollution, expanded landfills.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 form of
entertainment
Use synonyms
 can have a positive effect on a country’s economy by creating job
places
Check wording
opportunities
show examples
 and generating money for businesses. In conclusion, shopping for
entertainment
Use synonyms
 can cause some negative effects
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it gives significant benefits if used smartly.

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Task Response
Use more details to back each point. add at least one clear example for each main idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use simple linking words to show how ideas go together.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check grammar and word choice. Use easy, correct phrases.
Structure
Finish with a short restating sentence in the end.
Task Response
The answer shows a clear view that shopping as fun can harm a budget.
Coherence
There is a simple plan: intro, two paragraphs, and a short conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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