IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Children at secondary school are often taken on visits to museums, zoo and concerts and sometimes even to other countries. What do you think the advantages and disadvantages of such visits are?

students
Fix capitalization
Students
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 at secondary school sometimes do an outing to historical places or visit animals at the zoo.
some
Fix capitalization
Some
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 schools even plan
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 students to visit other countries and
come to
Verb problem
attend
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 a concert.
with
Fix capitalization
With
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Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 activities, there are some benefits and
down side
Use the right word
downsides
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.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 children can learn about the world
Change preposition
at in
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in
Use the right word
an
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 early age
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 it
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
is also
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coatly
Correct your spelling
costly
 for some
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 to provide
such
Linking Words
Correct article usage
an ampunt
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ampunt
Correct your spelling
amount
 of money.

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structure
Plan with intro, 2 body parts, and a short end.
task response
Say what view you have about these trips, and keep it clear.
content
Give 1 or 2 clear examples for each point.
coherence
Use simple words to show how ideas link.
language
Check spell and grammar so words are right.
content
Some idea of the topic is shown
content
The piece mentions both good and bad sides
communication
The writer uses simple form and clear idea
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • broadens perspective
  • culture
  • curriculum
  • interactive
  • retain information
  • subject matter
  • promote
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • fosters
  • meticulously
  • safety risks
  • financial strain
  • disruptions
  • compression
  • exclude
What to do next:
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