IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal.Some people,however,think that other types of progress are equally important fora country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, various governments are considering
to prioritize
Verb problem
prioritising
show examples
 economic
development
Use synonyms
above
Change preposition
over
show examples
 others.
This
Linking Words
 particular policy has sparked a public debate, concerning the possibility of other
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
 of
development
Use synonyms
 being neglected. I believe
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 there are certain reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 decision-making process on why
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
 aspect of a country should be a top priority.
First,
Linking Words
widespread improvements require
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sufficient funding, and
heavy
Correct article usage
a heavy
show examples
dependant
Replace the word
dependence
show examples
 on
state's
Correct article usage
the state's
show examples
 own budget is a situation which stakeholders
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
tend to move away
.
Change preposition
from.
show examples
Therefore
Linking Words
, progressing towards a better economy could help to generate more income streams,
such
Linking Words
 as foreign investment and domestic consumption rate
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
, eventually,
affecting
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
 the business. These circumstances would enable the government to equally divide
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
development
Use synonyms
 expenses.
Second,
Linking Words
putting economic progression in a
fast-lane
Use the right word
fast lane
show examples
 will enhance the livelihood of the people. It creates a
domino-effect
Use the right word
domino effect
show examples
while
Linking Words
 opening a chance for the people to access
high quality
Use the right word
high-quality
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
goods and services.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 implies that other
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 of
development
Use synonyms
 are
simultaniously
Correct your spelling
simultaneously
 progressing towards the better. In short, any
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of progress
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 important.
However
Linking Words
, the effort to improve the economic situation is crucial in the long run to ensure
state
Correct article usage
the state
show examples
 has enough budget for its
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
. One vital condition that should be taken into account is the way on how to implement economic policy without neglecting others.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Explain both sides well. In one paragraph, show why some people value non-economic progress.
task response
Make your own view clear in the opening and end with a strong closing line that repeats it.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas go with each other, like 'first', 'next', 'however', 'therefore'.
coherence and cohesion
Keep sentences short and easy to read. Fix mistakes that make meaning unclear.
task response
The essay shows a clear view that economic progress is important.
coherence and cohesion
There is a basic plan of intro, body, and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: