IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people believe that obtaining a higher
education
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 is more valuable for finding a job than developing soft
skills
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 and gaining
experience
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both viewpoints and explain why I believe that practical
experience
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 and soft
skills
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 are more important for employment. There are two main reasons why some people consider
university
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education
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 the best way to secure a job.
First,
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higher
education
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 provides individuals with essential theoretical knowledge that can be applied in the workplace. During their studies, students learn about concepts and principles related to their chosen field, which may help them perform specific tasks effectively.
Second,
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many
employers
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 still prefer candidates with a
university
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 diploma, as it is seen as proof of a certain level of competence and commitment. If you have a diploma from a prestigious
university
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, it is even more appreciated by
employers
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.
However
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, in practice, many
employers
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prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
show examples
experience
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 over formal
education
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.
For example
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, some positions require staff who can begin work immediately, making prior
experience
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 more valuable than a degree.
Additionally
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, soft
skills
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such
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 as communication, teamwork, and multitasking are highly regarded by
employers
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. A candidate may have excellent academic qualifications but struggle to apply them in
real work
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real-world
show examples
 situations if they lack these
skills
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. In conclusion, a
university
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 diploma is not always the most important factor for securing employment. Practical
experience
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 and soft
skills
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 are often more valuable because they enable individuals to perform their duties effectively. In my opinion, gaining
experience
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 and developing soft
skills
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 offers greater advantages than higher
education
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 alone, particularly in today’s job market.

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task response
In the task response, give more depth for each view and add a specific example to show how the idea works in real work.
coherence and cohesion
In coherence and cohesion, use clear transitions to link ideas, and check that paragraphs flow from one to the next.
content
Clear view and stance in the conclusion
organization
Good structure with introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion
cohesion
Use of linking words like First, Second, However
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
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