IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie chart gives information on UAE government spending in 2000. The total budget was AED 315 billion. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart shows information about
UAE
Correct article usage
the UAE
show examples
government
Check wording
government's
show examples
 spending in 2000 and where the
money
Use synonyms
 goes.
In addition
Linking Words
, the total
of
Check wording
amount of
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 is 315
billion
Use synonyms
 AED.
Overall
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
below
Check wording
diagram below
show examples
digram
Check wording
apply
show examples
shows that the social security has the largest part that the
government
Check wording
government's
show examples
 spending
money
Use synonyms
 to it. Which is spending 100
billion
Use synonyms
 AED.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the smallest part is transport
where
Punctuation problem
, where
show examples
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
spending
Wrong verb form
spends
show examples
 9
billion
Use synonyms
 AED.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 one hand, the pie chart appearance that the most sectors the country spending
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
health and personal social services and social security.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 sector
also
Linking Words
 has spending
money
Use synonyms
almost
Change preposition
of almost
show examples
 38
billion
Use synonyms
 AED.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, the
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 sectors
less
Verb problem
spend less
show examples
 spending which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 industry
agriculture
Punctuation problem
, agriculture
show examples
 and employment, which
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 13
billion
Use synonyms
 AED. The similar
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
 are housing and heritage
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 environment
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 15
billion
Use synonyms
 AED.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the expenditure, defence and debt interest are
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 spending.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget
  • government
  • spending
  • billions
  • social development
  • infrastructure
  • defense
  • security
  • healthcare
  • education
  • investment
  • citizen
  • focus
  • priority
  • sector
  • emphasis
  • facilities
  • transport
  • well-being
  • future
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