IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

An increasing number of people are now using the internet to meet new people and socialise. Some people think this has brought people closer together while others think people are becoming more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The massive phenomenon of usage of social media usage in order to connect with people seamlessly.
However
Linking Words
,
such
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 a two-edged sword, some communities believe that
this
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 two-edged sword can connect people from all over the world.
On the other hand
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, the rest argue that they become isolated because
interaction
Change preposition
of interaction
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 with a person somewhere apart from a friend nearby. From one point of view, the live chat messaging application enables our relatives from urban areas to rural areas. It aimed to give a wider social interaction space for people who are separated. The voice and video call features are suitable for all ages.
For instance
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, we can say hi to our grandparents instantly when we are missing them, and
then
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 we can invite our beloved aunties and uncles at the same time. It proves that the utilisation of the internet is inclusive and makes everything possible in our hands. The implication always occurs when the social behaviour shifts,
then
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 one will blame another because feelings are neglected, even if they are in the same room.
This
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 situation happens because they are feeling satisfied by their smartphone rather than talking with their surroundings. To illustrate, neighbourhoods' interaction becomes less contact, children will play with their own gadgets, and reunion will be meaningless when we feel comfortable talking through group chat virtually rather than direct discussion.
To conclude
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, both sides have consequences, not even better if we do not look
further
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 into development. Utilising the Internet of Things in social life is a very personal
decision and subjective
Correct word order
and subjective decision
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. We tend to adapt to change or being disrupted as technology grows faster.

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task
Your response shows both sides and a view, but the main opinion is not clear. State your own view clearly in the last line or in a short sentence.
structure
Organize ideas into clear parts: intro, body on one side, body on the other, and a short conclusion.
coherence
Use linking words to help flow, like first, also, but, however, and in conclusion.
grammar
Watch grammar and sentence form. Check subject-verb agreement and plural forms.
lexical
Use simple words. Some long or hard words are not needed. Avoid words like utilisation and IoT.
content
The essay shows two sides and a view.
content
There is an example about grandparents using video call.
coherence
The idea is tied to real life social life.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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