IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below indicates the number of people who have heart attacks every year in the US

The bar graph depicts the annual
number
Use synonyms
 of heart
attacks
Correct subject-verb agreement
attack
show examples
 patients
according to
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
 group and gender. 
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of men who got cardiac arrest in every
age
Use synonyms
 category consistently has been higher than women
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 range from 123
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
 to 440
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
. The
number
Use synonyms
 for both
sex
Fix the agreement mistake
sexes
show examples
 grows exceptionally bigger as the
age
Use synonyms
 increases.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 rises very slightly
fomen
Correct your spelling
for men
 in the
age
Use synonyms
 group of 45 to 64
years
Use synonyms
 old and the elderly, marking a clear deviation from the general trend. For men
aging
Replace the word
aged
show examples
 from 29 to 44
years
Use synonyms
 old, there are 123
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
 people who have heart attacks.
Conversely
Linking Words
, only 3
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
 women
recorded
Verb problem
were recorded
show examples
 to have
this
Linking Words
 disease, making a substantial difference between the two
sex
Fix the agreement mistake
sexes
show examples
.
Middle aged
Use the right word
Middle-aged
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 people ranging from 45 to 64
years
Use synonyms
 old are
similarly
Linking Words
 patterned as the younger ones
except
Punctuation problem
, except
show examples
 that the
Use synonyms
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 climb up to 424 and 136
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. There
are
Verb problem
is are
show examples
 modest
increement
Correct your spelling
increase
 in the
number
Use synonyms
 of heart
attacks
Correct subject-verb agreement
attack
show examples
 patients for elderly men (65
years
Use synonyms
 old and above), which
contrary
Verb problem
is contrary
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of elderly women suffering the
disease
Punctuation problem
disease,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 significantly plummeted to 374
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, age, thousands, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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