Some people think that governments should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

Many

individuals

Use synonyms

believe that people should be self-sufficient in managing their financial needs after

retirement

Use synonyms

while

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others argue that the government ought to provide support to retirees.

Although

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it can be argued that the state has a duty to give back to society by offering assistance to the elderly, I believe that encouraging

individuals

Use synonyms

to take responsibility for their own financial security fosters discipline and long-term sustainability. On the one hand, governments do carry a responsibility toward their citizens. Many

individuals

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spend decades working and contributing taxes that sustain national infrastructure and public services. It may

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

, therefore

show examples

therefore

Punctuation problem

therefore,

show examples

seem reasonable that the state provides financial assistance once these

individuals

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retire. In several developed nations,

such

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as the UK, state pensions are designed to ensure that elderly citizens are not left in financial hardship.

Such

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measures can reduce poverty among retirees and guarantee a basic standard of living.

However

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, excessive reliance on government support may discourage personal savings and place considerable fiscal strain on public finances, particularly in ageing societies.

On the other hand

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individuals

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who plan for their own

retirement

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are more likely to develop financial discipline. When people understand that their future security depends largely on their own savings, they are motivated to adopt responsible spending habits during their working years.

For example

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, employees in India contribute to the Provident Fund, where a portion of their salary is set aside to support them after

retirement

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. Since

this

Linking Words

fund is built from their own earnings, it promotes financial awareness and self-reliance rather than dependency. Over time,

such

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systems can create a more economically stable and independent population. In conclusion,

while

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governments should ensure that elderly citizens do not fall into poverty, I believe that

individuals

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should primarily take responsibility for their

retirement

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savings. Encouraging financial independence not only reduces pressure on public resources but

also

Linking Words

cultivates a culture of discipline and foresight.

aliaanis07

Feb 14, 2026

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task response

The essay has a good base. It answers both views and gives your own view. To raise the score, add more ideas and clear evidence for each point.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well laid out with intro, body and conclusion. It uses good link words. Some long sentences can be split for easier reading. Keep one idea per sentence when possible.

structure

Clear stance and good view that moves from side to side to a clear end.

coherence

Use of link words shows the flow of idea and contrasts.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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