IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more people are eating fast food in the world. what are the resons and how can this problem be solved?

The growing preference for fast
food
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 worldwide is primarily driven by its widespread availability and affordability.
This
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 issue may be mitigated through government interventions,
such
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 as public education campaigns about the health risks associated with fast
food
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 and the implementation of higher taxes on these products to increase their prices. The rise in fast
food
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consumption
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 can be attributed to its low cost and extensive availability. Fast-
food
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 chains achieve reduced unit costs by purchasing ingredients in bulk and
utilizing
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utilising
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 processed,
subsidized
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subsidised
show examples
 components that are less expensive to produce and store than fresh alternatives.
Additionally
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, the dense distribution of fast-
food
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 outlets in urban and suburban areas, particularly near schools, workplaces, and major roads, enhances accessibility. Drive-thru services
further
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 increase convenience.
For example
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, in Canada, chains
such
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 as Tim Hortons and McDonald's are present in most commercial plazas and offer
food
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 at relatively affordable prices. To address the issue of rising fast-
food
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consumption
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, governments can play a significant role by increasing public awareness of the negative health effects of fast
food
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 through newspaper articles and free advertising on television and radio.
Additionally
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, authorities may impose higher taxes on unhealthy foods, thereby raising their prices and discouraging
consumption
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.
For instance
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, in India, fast
food
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 from chains
such
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 as McDonald's is considerably more expensive than in other countries
due to
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 high taxation, which limits its affordability to a smaller segment of the population. In conclusion,
while
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 most individuals choose fast
food
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 for its convenience and affordability, government interventions
such
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 as public health education and increased taxation can help reduce
consumption
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 and promote healthier dietary choices.

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task response
Plan your essay. Start with a short intro that says what you will do. Then give two or three reasons with one or two small examples. End with a short conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make one idea in each paragraph. Use easy words to link ideas with and, or, but, also.
examples
Add more exact examples or simple facts to show the point.
content
Clear view about why fast food use grows.
solutions
You note some good ways to fix the problem (education, tax).
examples
You give real place examples.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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