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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, most information is available online, whereas in the past knowledge was used to be stored in books and on paper. Do you think the advantages of this situation outweigh its disadvantages?

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Introduction
In the modern world,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 an important role in
this
Linking Words
 digital era. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 only
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
second
Fix the agreement mistake
seconds
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
searching
any
Change preposition
for any
show examples
information
Use synonyms
 online,
while
Linking Words
 20 (
twenthy
Correct your spelling
twenty
) years
ago
Punctuation problem
ago,
show examples
 books, paper and
magazine
Fix the agreement mistake
magazines
show examples
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 the
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
only
information
Use synonyms
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 used.
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
now
Add a comma
now,
show examples
digitalization
Change the spelling
digitalisation
show examples
had
Verb problem
has had
show examples
 so many
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our daily activities, everything seems
easiest
Replace the word
easier
show examples
 with online
information
Use synonyms
, i
Punctuation problem
. I
show examples
 strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 argument
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 write down my opinion below.
Body paragraph 1
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years,
people
Use synonyms
 hard to find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
valid
information
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 some news
came
Wrong verb form
has come
show examples
lately
Replace the word
late
show examples
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
. while
show examples
while
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
had
Verb problem
has had
show examples
 a negative impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
, by
Punctuation problem
. By
show examples
2002
Punctuation problem
2002,
show examples
aceh
Fix capitalization
Aceh
show examples
has
Verb problem
was
show examples
 hit by
tsunami
Correct article usage
a tsunami
show examples
 disaster almost 200.000
were died
Verb problem
people
show examples
 because of the disaster
, no
Punctuation problem
. No
show examples
 one knew
this
Linking Words
 incident would happen until the seawater
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 into the land.
In contrast
Linking Words
, now online
information
Use synonyms
really
Verb problem
is really
show examples
 useful for giving
many
Fix the agreement mistake
much
show examples
information
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as earthquake BMKG can
taka
Use the right word
take
show examples
advantege
Correct your spelling
advantage
 by
announce
Wrong verb form
announcing
show examples
 any disaster
information
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
just
Change preposition
in just
show examples
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
second
Fix the agreement mistake
seconds
show examples
everyone
Punctuation problem
, everyone
show examples
know
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
show examples
 and
aware
Verb problem
is aware
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
Linking Words
furthermore
Fix capitalization
Furthermore
show examples
, online
information
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 world
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
Change preposition
for student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 and
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 a few
decades
Add a comma
decades,
show examples
 books became
source
Correct article usage
a source
show examples
 of
information
Use synonyms
 for learning, studying and doing their tasks.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 class
activity
Punctuation problem
activity,
show examples
 no one
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
laptop
Correct article usage
a laptop
show examples
 or
handphone
Correct article usage
a handphone
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 support their study,
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 only bring books and
pen
Correct article usage
a pen
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
note
Fix the agreement mistake
notes
show examples
.
Linking Words
Fix capitalization
However
show examples
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 in
Change the spelling
digitalisation
show examples
digitalization
Add a comma
digitalization,
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 bring
laptop
Correct article usage
a laptop
show examples
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
and hp
Correct word choice
HP
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 for the main
information
Use synonyms
 in
clas
Fix the agreement mistake
class
show examples
 for their study.
Conclusion
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 online
information
Use synonyms
 plays an
importany
Correct your spelling
important
 role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our daily
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
,
enthough
Correct your spelling
although
Linking Words
also
Correct pronoun usage
it also
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 a negative impact
,
Punctuation problem
. However
show examples
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
 as human
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
being
Add a comma
being,
show examples
 we
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
 avoid most of our daily activities supported by internet
information
Use synonyms

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structure
Plan your writing. Make a short intro, 2 or 3 body ideas, and a simple end.
focus
Keep one main idea and give a clear reason or example for each.
language
Use easy words and small sentences. Check spelling and grammar.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas. Use order in each paragraph: one idea per paragraph.
idea
You show a view and want to stick to the topic.
content
You give a few examples in your draft.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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