IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is argued that governments should
prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
show examples
 funding
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of
railway
Use synonyms
 over
expansion
Correct article usage
the expansion
show examples
 of road infrastructure. I firmly assert that allocating a large proportion of financial
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
 toward
railway
Use synonyms
 construction will not only enhance the financial standing of the
contury
Correct your spelling
country
 but
also
Linking Words
 contribute to
mitigate
Wrong verb form
mitigating
show examples
 environmental issues. First and foremost, one significant reason behind
advocation
Check wording
advocacy
show examples
 for
railway
Use synonyms
 construction is that it is an environmentally friendly mode of transportation.
For instance
Linking Words
, when people choose to travel by train for shorter trips,
instead
Linking Words
 of a private car,
this
Linking Words
 supports ecological efforts of reducing the number of
carobon-realsing
Correct your spelling
carbon-releasing
 activities. As
this
Linking Words
 habit decreases the percentage of carbon dixiode emit into our surrounding atomosphere.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
show examples
 in
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
paticules
Correct your spelling
particles
 in the air will serve to reduce
climate
Correct article usage
the climate
show examples
 footprint significantly.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another considerable benefit from constructing
railway
Use synonyms
 systems is improving
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
 financial standards. By
Correct article usage
the developmet
show examples
developmet
Correct your spelling
development
 of
railway
Use synonyms
 lines
instead
Linking Words
 of annual
maintainance
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 of road infrastructure country can save money for more beneficial human needs. Investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 healthcare facilities and
eductional
Correct your spelling
educational
 systems should be
took
Wrong verb form
taken
show examples
 as a
muct
Correct your spelling
measure
 to enhance
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 economy.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 development in
railway
Use synonyms
contruction
Correct your spelling
construction
 could attract
bussinesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
 and tourists. Ultimately,
this
Linking Words
 improvement can create paramount job opportunities and enrich
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
nation
Check wording
nation's
show examples
 financial status. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the construction of
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
 is significantly important. I contend that building of
railway
Use synonyms
 offers a more advantageous impact on
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 financial health and plays a crucial role in alleviating the environmental concerns,
with
Use the right word
which
show examples
 in turn could support global climate efforts.

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language
Improve spelling and grammar to make the message clear.
structure
Start with a clear idea in the first line of the intro and keep one main idea in each paragraph.
content
Give more strong and full proof for your main idea; make more and better examples.
cohesion
Use simple and small links to show the flow from one idea to the next (for example, 'also', 'but', 'in addition').
content
You take a clear side on the topic.
structure
You split the work into two main ideas with a conclusion.
cohesion
You use some linking words to show order.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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