Many parents feel that cell phones are harmful to children, while others do not. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In the modern world, it is undeniable that mobile
phones
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have become an important part of everyday life, including for
children
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. Some parents believe that cell
phones
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are harmful to young people,
while
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others think they can be useful tools. In
this
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essay, an attempt will be made to examine both perspectives. Those who support the idea that cell
phones
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are harmful to
children
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provide some reasons to justify their view. One of the most apparent concerns is that excessive phone
use
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may negatively affect
children
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’s health and academic performance. To illustrate, long hours spent on social media or games can reduce time for studying, physical activity, and face-to-face interaction.
For instance
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, some
children
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develop poor concentration habits or sleep problems
due to
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constant phone
use
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, which may influence their learning and
overall
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well-being. Those who disagree with the above idea
also
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have some points that should not be overlooked. One major reason is that mobile
phones
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can support communication, safety, and education. To clarify,
phones
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allow parents to stay in contact with their
children
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and provide access to educational applications and online learning resources.
For example
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, students can
use
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mobile devices to research school topics, practise language skills, or contact teachers and classmates, which can improve both learning opportunities and personal security. To recapitulate, it is evident that some people believe mobile
phones
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are harmful because they may distract
children
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and affect their health,
while
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others argue that they offer educational and safety benefits. Having considered both sides thoroughly, I have personally come to believe that cell
phones
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can be beneficial for
children
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if their
use
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is properly controlled and guided by parents, as balanced
use
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allows young people to gain advantages
while
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avoiding negative effects.

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improvement
Task response: You cover both sides and give your view. The main idea is clear. To push this higher, add one strong point for each side and end with a clear final idea.
improvement
Coherence and cohesion: Your writing has a clear plan. The flow is good. Use short linking words like first, also, then, and finally to show each step.
structure
Clear plan with introduction, body, and conclusion.
content
You show both sides and give your own view.
content
Good ideas and examples for the topic.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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