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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Computers have made the world a better place to live in. Do you agree or disagree*

*Arguably, the introduction of technology, as seen in the invention of
computers
Use synonyms
, has improved human lives. In my view,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 agree with
this
Linking Words
 proposition.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses how
computers
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 have improved documentation , script marking, and
grading
Correct article usage
the grading
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 of
students
Use synonyms
' results.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the invention of
computers
Use synonyms
 has transformed lives by improving documentation and storage processes. The introduction and use of
computers
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 in the workplace have improved
worklife
Correct your spelling
work-life
 and reduced loss of
information
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 and documents since
information
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 is being stored in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers
Use synonyms
 rather than in
books
Punctuation problem
books,
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 where it can easily be damaged by fire, theft or water.
For instance
Linking Words
, the banking sector has recorded significant improvement in the ease of access to customers'
information
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 through the use of
computers
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
computers
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 have improved the education sector by reducing the wait time for marking, grading, and
assessment of
Replace the word
assessing
show examples
students
Use synonyms
' results. Previously, grading and assessment usually
takes
Wrong verb form
took
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 a lot of time as it
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 done by humans.
However
Linking Words
, the advent of
computers
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 has improved
this
Linking Words
 system.
For instance
Linking Words
, the recent introduction of CBT by the Joint
admission
Fix capitalization
Admission
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 and
matriculation board
Fix capitalization
Matriculation Board
show examples
 (JAMB) has reduced the wait time as
students
Use synonyms
 get their results after a few days. In conclusion,I agree that
computers
Use synonyms
 have made the world a better place.
This
Linking Words
 is seen in the access to documentation and storage of files and
information
Use synonyms
, and
also
Linking Words
marking
Correct article usage
the marking
show examples
 and grading of
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
.

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grammar
Check grammar and fix errors like 'i agree' to 'I agree', 'worklife' to 'work life', and 'students result' to 'students' results'.
structure
Break long sentences into shorter ones. Put one idea per sentence.
development
Add more detail or examples for each point to show how computers help in daily life.
style
Use more neutral language and avoid informal phrases. Keep consistent tense.
content
Clear stance and overall flow from intro to conclusion.
coherence
Use of signaling phrases like 'To begin with' and 'Secondly' helps cohesion.
examples
Relevant examples (banking, JAMB CBT) show you know real effects.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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