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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others of the same age. This is called "peer pressure" Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that young
people
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 are often influenced by others of the same age, a phenomenon commonly known as
peer
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pressure
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.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that
this
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 influence can have positive effects, others argue that it can lead to harmful outcomes. In
this
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 essay, an attempt will be made to examine both the advantages and disadvantages of
peer
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pressure
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. On the one hand, there are many benefits associated with
peer
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 influence among young
people
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. One of the most apparent positive aspects is that
peer
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pressure
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 can encourage individuals to adopt constructive behaviours. To illustrate, young
people
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 may be motivated by their friends to study harder, participate in sports, or develop useful skills.
For instance
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, students who join
peer
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 groups focused on academic success often feel encouraged to improve their performance and maintain discipline, which can support their personal growth and confidence.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 some drawbacks related to
peer
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pressure
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 that should not be overlooked. One negative aspect is that it may push young
people
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 towards risky or harmful behaviour. To clarify, adolescents often seek acceptance within social groups, which may lead them to follow trends even when these are unhealthy or dangerous.
For example
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, some teenagers may feel pressured to engage in substance use, skip school, or adopt negative attitudes simply to fit in, which can have long-term consequences for their education and well-being. To recapitulate, it is evident that the main merit of
peer
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pressure
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 is its ability to motivate positive behaviour and social development,
while
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 the principal downside is its potential to encourage harmful actions and poor decision-making. Having considered both sides thoroughly, I have personally come to believe that the disadvantages of
peer
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pressure
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 outweigh the advantages, as negative influences during adolescence can have lasting effects on young
people
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’s futures.

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structure
Your work has a clear view and a good start. To raise the score, add more proof for each point and use more exact ideas. Also make a stronger link between ideas.
development
Try to speak in a more even way for both sides. Show more detail for both sides and end with a clear view.
strength
Clear view and good ending sentence that states your view.
strength
Uses clear linking words to show ideas.
strength
Gives examples to show points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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