The bar chart below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities, Derby and Nottingham, Between 2000 and 2009. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The diagram below illustrates the
quantity
Check wording
number
show examples
of
houses
Use synonyms
built per year in two cities,
Derby
Use synonyms
and
Nottingham
Use synonyms
, over a period of 9 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can say
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
that
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
of buildings in
Nottingham
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
more than in
Derby
Use synonyms
only 2 first
years
Check wording
two years
show examples
, after
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
we can see a sharp increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
houses
Use synonyms
in other
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
. So we can mention
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
that from 2003 until 2007, the
number
Use synonyms
of
houses
Use synonyms
in
Derby
Use synonyms
were remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
stable
after
Punctuation problem
, after
show examples
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
a dramatic growth
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
in 2009 it reached a peak.
Compeared
Use the right word
Compared
show examples
to
Derby
Use synonyms
,
Nottingham
Use synonyms
had a steep
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
in
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
of buildings in 2002. In one
year
Punctuation problem
year,
show examples
we can notice a gradual rise until 2006, after
it
Correct pronoun usage
which it
show examples
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fell dramatically again. But in 2007 there were around 50
houses
Use synonyms
more than in
Derby
Use synonyms
after
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is was a sharp fall in 2008. But in 2009 we can see the
bigges
Correct your spelling
biggest
number
Use synonyms
of buildings in
Nottingham
Use synonyms
compeared
Use the right word
compared
show examples
to previous years.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Add more linking words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words houses, derby, nottingham, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • bar
  • year
  • years
  • period
  • city
  • Derby
  • Nottingham
  • number
  • houses
  • built
  • go up
  • rise
  • go down
  • fall
  • higher
  • lower
  • more
  • less
  • same
  • different
  • overall
  • generally
  • in general
  • in contrast
  • whereas
  • while
  • during
  • from
  • to
  • between
  • the chart shows
  • it shows
  • notable
  • peaks
  • troughs
  • comparison
  • data
  • report
  • paragraph
  • sentence
  • linking words
What to do next:
Look at other essays: