IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Teenage pregnancy is on the rise in many countries. Why is this? What measures (มาตรการ) are there to tackle (จัดการ) this problem?

Adolescent
pregnancy
Use synonyms
 has become a national issue of great concern.
Youth's
Check wording
Youth
show examples
pregnancy
Use synonyms
 has increased in a lot of countries.
This
Linking Words
 essay examines the problems of
pregnancy
Use synonyms
 in young adults
while
Linking Words
preferring
Verb problem
proposing
show examples
 possible solutions.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the major reason why young adults
fall
Verb problem
become
show examples
 pregnant without proper planning is ignorance.
Sex
Use synonyms
 education creates self-awareness in youths,
hence
Linking Words
 eradicating problems of unwanted
pregnancy
Use synonyms
. Most parents have failed in their responsibilities to take care of adolescents and
sex
Use synonyms
 educate them alike, thereby leading to these youngsters being misinformed and taken advantage of by their
preys
Check wording
predators
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, students who are
sex
Use synonyms
 educated flee and do not engage in sexual talks and advances. To solve
this
Linking Words
 issue, schools and caregivers should
sex
Use synonyms
 educate the youths and create awareness of
signs
Correct article usage
the signs
show examples
 to look out for in sexual abusers and pedophiles.
In addition
Linking Words
, raping is a major factor contributing to unplanned pregnancies in youngsters. When minors are forcefully and sexually abused, it could result in
pregnancy
Use synonyms
.
Consequent
Replace the word
Consequently
show examples
upon
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct determiner usage
apply
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this
Linking Words
, the government should enact stringent laws to punish rapists. In conclusion, ignorance and rape contribute to the increased number of unplanned pregnancies in minors, and these could be resolved through early
sex
Use synonyms
 education and
punishment
Correct article usage
the punishment
show examples
 of rapists.

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content
In the intro, give a clear plan and your view.
structure
Each paragraph should have one main idea with a topic sentence.
content
Give more clear reasons and examples, not just general ideas.
content
Add other real factors like access to care and birth control.
language
Check word choice and grammar; use simple, exact words.
content
You try to cover both causes and a fix.
structure
There is a clear three-part layout: start, middle, end.
content
Some ideas on education and law are shown.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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