IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter · explain why you want to reduce your working hours · say which hours you would like to work · describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

Dear manager, I am
writting
Correct your spelling
writing
 to discuss
variation
Correct article usage
the variation
show examples
 about the roster with my personal reason, I may have to shorten my working
hourse
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hours
 in future. I will graduate from
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of Queensland
in
Change preposition
apply
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next month, I need
sufficent
Correct your spelling
sufficient
 time to study for my English test
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is required for
application
Correct article usage
the application
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of
Change preposition
for
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working
Correct article usage
a working
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 visa. After
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
carful
Use the right word
careful
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 consideration, I decided to spend more time
to concentrate
Verb problem
concentrating
show examples
 on studying. Currently, I work five days a week, and five hours each day
, may
Punctuation problem
. May
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 I have a chance to change my working hours
into
Change preposition
to
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 two days per week?
Firstly
Linking Words
, I
apologize
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apologise
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 for
this
Linking Words
 variation
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 I understand it
maight
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might
 be an inconvenience for you to
schedual
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schedule
 the roster.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is an important decision for me to keep staying in Australia. Once my working visa is successfully granted,
then
Linking Words
 I will be allowed to be a permanent staff
at
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member at
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company
Correct article usage
the company
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. Thank you for your time and consideration
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 hope to hear from you soon. Yours
suncerely
Correct your spelling
sincerely
 Chris

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language
Spell and grammar need work. Fix common errors like 'writting', 'hourse', 'maight', 'schedual', and 'suncerely' to write clearly.
content
Explain how part-time study helps the firm, not only you. Say it helps you keep skills and stay with the team.
structure
Put ideas in at least two or three short paragraphs. Start with the reason, then the hours you want, then how this helps the company.
structure
Ask for a clear schedule, for example 'two days a week, on Tue and Thu, 4 hours each day' so it is easy to approve.
content
The reason for the change is given, and visa/study is clear.
tone
The letter uses a formal tone and a polite closing.
The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

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