IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides.

Schools play a central role in preparing children for adult life, and educators disagree on whether
competition
Use synonyms
 or
cooperation
Use synonyms
 should be emphasised. I argue that a balanced approach — fostering healthy
competition
Use synonyms
 within cooperative frameworks — best equips pupils for future challenges. Advocates of
competition
Use synonyms
 contend that it spurs individual effort and excellence. When pupils compete for grades, awards or places, they often adopt more disciplined study habits and set higher goals.
For instance
Linking Words
, a well-managed inter-school science
competition
Use synonyms
 can motivate students to pursue independent research and achieve measurable academic gains.
Moreover
Linking Words
, competitive environments can build resilience and self-reliance, qualities prized in higher education and the labour market.
Conversely
Linking Words
, proponents of
cooperation
Use synonyms
 emphasise interpersonal and conflict-resolution skills. Team projects require negotiation, shared responsibility and clear communication — all essential in modern workplaces where collaboration across disciplines is the norm. Cooperative learning
also
Linking Words
 tends to support inclusion, reducing anxiety among less confident pupils and encouraging peer teaching that benefits all members of a class. Rather than choosing one model, schools should integrate
competition
Use synonyms
 and
cooperation
Use synonyms
. Teachers can set individual targets to promote personal excellence
while
Linking Words
 designing group tasks that require collaboration. Emphasising effort and fair play prevents unhealthy rivalry and ensures that competitive activities complement, rather than undermine, teamwork. In conclusion,
competition
Use synonyms
 and
cooperation
Use synonyms
 each have valuable roles; combining them provides the most comprehensive preparation for both academic and professional life.

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task response
The essay keeps a clear view and discusses both sides well. To lift the score more, add deeper thought for each side and more real examples from life or school.
coherence and cohesion
The writing follows a clear order with good link words. Some transitions could be smoother and every paragraph should have one main idea stated in a topic sentence.
task response
Clear stance and balance between both sides.
coherence and cohesion
Good overall structure from intro to conclusion with clear links.
coherence and cohesion
Strong contrasts and use of linking words like 'Advocates', 'Conversely', 'Rather than'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • strive
  • healthy competition
  • real-world competition
  • excessive
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • win-at-all-costs
  • detrimental
  • character development
  • empathy
  • communication skills
  • group efforts
  • individual talents
  • self-reliance
  • independence
  • balanced approach
  • competitive learning environments
  • cooperative learning environments
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