IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The number of refugees and immigrants is increasing nowadays. What are the causes and effects of this trend?

In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, travelling
became
Wrong verb form
has become
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 more convenient
due to
Linking Words
advancement
Replace the word
advances
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 in technology. Because of
this
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, the
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
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 of immigration
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
also
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 rising. The following paragraphs will expatiate
both
Change preposition
on both
show examples
 stances and the core reasons with lucid examples. To commence with, the first and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foremost cause of leaving their own country is
less
Correct word choice
a smaller
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 number of job opportunities and unemployment. Overpopulated
countries
Use synonyms
 like China and India are struggling
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Hence
Linking Words
, citizens are forced to move abroad for
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 future.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by Indian authorities shows that more than 60% youngsters are planning to settle in Canada or America in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
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 years.
Secondly
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, natives of terrorism affected nations like Afghanistan and Syria flee to other
countries
Use synonyms
 for safety and
peaceful
Correct article usage
a peaceful
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 life.
For example
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, many Afghan citizens applied for refugee status in developed
countries
Use synonyms
 during the Taliban takeover of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
. On the other side of
argument
Correct article usage
the argument
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,
this
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 scenario has both positive and negative effects.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in the merits, immigration can
brings
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
 new skills and cultures
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the society. They can contribute
boost
Verb problem
to boost
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economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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 and promote diversity in communities. To illustrate, more than 50% American scientists are from India and other
countries
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
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 scenario can
also
Linking Words
 lead to overpopulation, unemployment and racism.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the increase in refugees
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 the burden on governments to provide aid and benefits to these people.
To conclude
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after
Punctuation problem
, after
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 taking the aforementioned information into consideration, there are
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
 of reasons for migration
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as politics, personal growth and dense population. There is no doubt that it has both pros and cons for host provinces.

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structure
Plan your ideas in order. Use one main idea for each paragraph. Start with a clear topic sentence that tells what you will write about.
grammar
Keep the grammar simple. Watch form and small mistakes that can change meaning.
content
Give clear and true examples. Use facts you know or make small, simple examples.
structure
Finish with a strong conclusion. Say the main point again and add one final thought.
structure
The piece has a plan with an intro, body and end.
coherence
It uses linking words to show order such as first and second.
content
It shows both good and bad sides of the topic.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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