IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but most of the time fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society? How can we create an ideal society?

Throughout history, many
people
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 have dreamed of living in a perfect
society
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, but creating
such
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 a
society
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 is not easy. In my opinion, an ideal
society
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 is one where
people
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 can live peacefully, have access to basic needs, and enjoy equal opportunities.
This
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 kind of
society
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 can be created through better education and stronger social responsibility. First of all, an ideal
society
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 should ensure that everyone’s basic needs are met,
such
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 as food, shelter, healthcare, and education. When
people
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 do not need to worry about survival, they can focus on improving themselves and contributing to
society
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.
In addition
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, equality is an important element of a good
society
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.
For example
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, children from low-income families should have the same access to schools as those from wealthy backgrounds. If governments provide support for public services, it can reduce the gap between different social groups.
Moreover
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, creating an ideal
society
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 requires cooperation between the government and individuals. Authorities should introduce fair policies and reduce social inequality. At the same time, individuals need to develop positive attitudes and avoid comparing themselves too much with others, especially on social media. By focusing on personal growth and helping others,
people
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 can build a more supportive and harmonious community. In conclusion, an ideal
society
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 is one where
people
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 live with fairness and mutual respect.
Although
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 it may not be perfect, it can be achieved through proper education, equal opportunities, and responsible
behavior
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behaviour
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 from both the government and citizens.

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task response
State your main view clearly in the first line of your opening. Keep this view in mind as you write each paragraph to stay on task.
task response
Give more detail for each idea. Add one or two facts or steps that show how to reach the goal.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like and, also, but, so, then to help the read flow.
coherence cohesion
Use shorter sentences sometimes to help the read stay with you.
content
Clear idea on what a good society is: fair basics and equal chance.
structure
The essay has a good outline with intro, body, and conclusion.
content
There are useful examples about education and government help.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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