IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but most of the time fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society? How can we create an ideal society?

Most
people
Use synonyms
 dreamed of living in a perfect
sociey
Correct your spelling
society
instead
Linking Words
 of making the perfect
society
Use synonyms
.
of
Fix capitalization
Of
show examples
course
Punctuation problem
course,
show examples
this
Linking Words
easier
Verb problem
is easier
show examples
 to unrealized because they only focused on
ideal
Correct article usage
an ideal
show examples
society
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 everyone had a different meaning of ideal
society
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
standart
Correct your spelling
standard
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
happen because social media formed
Correct article usage
a standart
show examples
standart
Correct your spelling
standard
 of living, so
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss my
opionion
Correct your spelling
opinion
 about an ideal
society
Use synonyms
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the dgitalization
show examples
dgitalization
Correct your spelling
digitalisation
 era.
Linking Words
firstly
Fix capitalization
Firstly
show examples
, everyone had a different meaning of
ideal
Correct article usage
an ideal
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 in
digitalization
Check wording
the digital
show examples
 era
, most
Punctuation problem
. Most
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 think
perfect
Correct article usage
a perfect
show examples
sociey
Correct your spelling
society
 is when we
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 a lot of money
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
for
Linking Words
instance
Punctuation problem
instance,
show examples
 in our
Replace the word
surroundings
show examples
surrounding
Punctuation problem
surrounding,
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
doesnt
Correct your spelling
don't
 think
for fulfil
Change preposition
about fulfilling
show examples
 secondary
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
 because
their
Use the right word
they're
show examples
 struggling
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 primary
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
 well and
sleep
Wrong verb form
sleeping
show examples
 properly.
Whereas
Linking Words
 maybe for someone
those
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 a lot of money without any
Replace the word
struggle
show examples
struggling
Punctuation problem
struggling,
show examples
 they consider
to
Correct pronoun usage
themselves to
show examples
 have a complete family and
didnt
Correct your spelling
don't
 feel
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
alone
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 these mean everyone
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 their
dreamed
Replace the word
dream
show examples
 of living
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
different
Use the right word
differs from
show examples
 one
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
another. In another hand,
people
Use synonyms
 only see what they dont have and focused on someone else wherease they enale to utilize their surrounding
this
Linking Words
 is because social media only shows the result not the effort how to reach the goals, for someone that raised in unlucky geography so they had to study hard for gain for entering top ten college in their country, following competition and joining social activity in their hometown from social media information.
as a result
Linking Words
 they can get relation which bring advantage for their future.
Linking Words
to
Fix capitalization
To
show examples
 conclude
many
Punctuation problem
, many
show examples
 of us just focus on what we
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have because we only see their happiness and
thinking
Wrong verb form
think about
show examples
 how the way being them
instead
Linking Words
 of
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 our ideal
society
Use synonyms

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structure
Your idea is not very clear. Put your main view in the first line and stay with it.
language
Fix spelling and grammar. Read aloud to hear mistakes.
structure
Make three easy parts: intro with your view, two or three ideas with proof, and a short end.
content
Give one or two clear examples that fit your idea and tell how they show your point.
coherence
Link ideas with clear words like also, but, so, and for example.
content
You touch on how digital life can change what people see.
structure
You try to end with a short conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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