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Band 5.5

Obesity has increased dramatically in many countries. What are the main causes and what effects does it have?

Obesity
Use synonyms
 has become a major concern in many countries around the world.
This
Linking Words
 issue arises from several factors and has serious
health
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 and social consequences.
Overall
Linking Words
, understanding the causes is crucial to implementing effective strategies to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem. One primary cause of
obesity
Use synonyms
 is the excessive consumption of fast food and sugary drinks.
This
Linking Words
 stems from the fact that modern lifestyles often involve busy schedules, leaving little time for preparing healthy meals. Another significant factor is the lack of physical activity, as many people spend long hours sitting at desks or using electronic devices.
For instance
Linking Words
, studies show that adults in urban areas often walk less than 5,000 steps per day, contributing to weight gain.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is evident that poor diet and sedentary lifestyles play a major role in the rising rates of
obesity
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. The consequences of
obesity
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 are substantial, affecting both
health
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 and society.
This
Linking Words
 is largely because excessive weight increases the risk of chronic illnesses
such
Linking Words
 as diabetes, heart disease, and hypertension.
Consequently
Linking Words
, healthcare systems are under greater pressure, and individuals often face reduced quality of life and higher medical expenses.
For example
Linking Words
, research indicates that countries with high
obesity
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 rates spend billions annually on
obesity
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-related healthcare costs.
Thus
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 addressing these causes can significantly reduce the negative impact of
obesity
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
obesity
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 occurs primarily
due to
Linking Words
 unhealthy eating habits and lack of physical activity, and it leads to serious
health
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 and social challenges.
Overall
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that tackling these root causes is essential for improving public
health
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 and reducing the burden on healthcare systems.

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improvement
Add more clear examples for each main point. Use simple facts or data when you can.
improvement
Make ideas link better. Use words like because, as a result, therefore to show cause and effect.
tip
Keep sentences short and simple. Break long sentences into two parts.
structure
Clear layout with an intro, body parts, and a conclusion.
language
Stance is clear and you give your view in the closing.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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