IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think longer prison sentences are the best way to reduce crime, while others believe there are better alternative solutions. Discuss both views and give your opinion

On a global scale, individuals hold different attitudes regarding stricter punishments in jails. Some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of people claim that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 making
duration
Correct article usage
the duration
show examples
 of the
prison
Use synonyms
 longer may have a significant impact
regarding
Change preposition
on
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low
Correct article usage
the low
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 tendency of
committed
Replace the word
committing
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 crimes
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society,
while
Linking Words
 proponents state that other regulations can be applied to mitigate
this
Linking Words
 issue.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
analyze
Change the spelling
analyse
show examples
 both perspectives before concluding the reason why I believe there
exist
Correct subject-verb agreement
exists
show examples
 a range of remedies to avert
such
Linking Words
 kind of trouble. On the one side, there is a growing number of violations across the world, which
enforce
Verb problem
forces
show examples
 communities to research deeply regarding
standing
Verb problem
the underlying
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factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
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 beyond
this
Linking Words
.
However
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, in today`s world, more than looking for influences that affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
crimes, several governments prefer to apply rules which
increases
Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
show examples
 the length of
prison
Use synonyms
 sentences. By taking
such
Linking Words
 action, there is a common belief that the volume of the conducted illegal actions will decline and people who are not willing to comply with rules may avoid
to break
Wrong verb form
breaking
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 the law. To give an example,
Mexican
Correct article usage
the Mexican
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 cartel is a large criminal
organization
Change the spelling
organisation
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who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 controls the illegal activities
such
Linking Words
 as drugs, chemicals and human trafficking inside
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the public authorities choose to extend their
prison
Use synonyms
 sentence when they are
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
caught
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and assert that it could reduce the number of brutal actions. If it is quite simple to prolong
prison
Use synonyms
sentence
Fix the agreement mistake
sentences
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 and impose penalties, why
not
Verb problem
don't
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 all governments do not apply
such
Linking Words
regulation
Correct article usage
a regulation
show examples
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 One of the plausible explanations is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some governments want to remove
this
Linking Words
 problem permanently, not temporarily
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 means they focus on the causes rather than
results
Correct article usage
the results
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, one of the remarkable reasons which is not taken into consideration seriously among plenty of nations is
education
Use synonyms
 quality. When people think about Denmark,
Sweeden
Use the right word
Sweden
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, Norway, what comes to their mind?
High quality
Use the right word
High-quality
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education
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
solves the issue once and for all.
Thus
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, from my
standpoint
Add a comma
standpoint,
show examples
 it is much more
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 to enhance educational attainments. Conducted research in 2021 reported that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the number of crimes in countries where the quality level is
imperatively
Rephrase
significantly
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differing
Replace the word
different
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 10 times lower than
the ones
Check wording
in those
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 where
education
Use synonyms
 is not taken into account sufficiently.
To conclude
Linking Words
, even though some declare that prolonging
duration
Correct article usage
the duration
show examples
 of
prison
Use synonyms
 may deal with
such
Linking Words
 an issue
over
Change preposition
around
show examples
 the world,
whereas
Linking Words
 the rest consider that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 offering logical solutions can combat
this
Linking Words
 problem. As far as I am concerned, to overcome
such
Linking Words
 kind of illegal activities,
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 factor needs to be taken into consideration seriously
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 awareness of society should be raised.

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structure
Make the structure clear: start with a short introduction, then two body parts for each view, and finish with a clear conclusion that states your view.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words to show how each point is connected.
content
Give more exact examples and explain them briefly so the point is clear.
grammar
Use only simple and correct sentence forms; fix grammar mistakes and choose precise words.
purpose
The writer tries to discuss both sides and gives a clear opinion.
content
There is use of one real world example and two countries for the idea of education as a fix.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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