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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think high school students should volunteer to benefit the community. Do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
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 believe that high school students should be required to undertake unpaid voluntary work to benefit their community. I strongly agree with
this
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 view, as
such
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 activities not only cultivate empathy but
also
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 equip young
people
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 with essential skills for future professional success. One major benefit of mandatory volunteering is that it helps teenagers build deeper empathy by exposing them to the challenges faced by vulnerable groups like the elderly, homeless, and underprivileged. Direct engagement fosters compassion and social responsibility. It can
also
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 inspire peers, creating a positive ripple effect in schools and communities.
For example
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, students at Coventry College in the UK
organized
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organised
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 a shelter during a severe polar vortex, aiding around 200 homeless
people
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 and enhancing their reputation as caring, proactive citizens. Another compelling reason for mandatory volunteering is that it equips adolescents with vital workplace skills. Modern jobs often require resilience under pressure, strict time management, teamwork, and multitasking. By participating in regular community service, teenagers develop transferable abilities
such
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 as problem-solving, effective communication, and adaptability in real-life situations.
Consequently
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, they approach future careers with greater confidence and competence.
For instance
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, research in Japan has shown that graduates with prior volunteer experience tend to outperform their peers in job performance, demonstrating higher engagement and contributing to improved workplace productivity and company success. In conclusion,
while
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 volunteering may require a significant time commitment from already busy high school students, I firmly believe that the long-term advantages—fostering genuine empathy and building practical skills for adult life—far outweigh any drawbacks. Encouraging young
people
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 to contribute to society ultimately strengthens both individuals and communities for a more prosperous future.

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tip
Add a brief look at the other side. Even if you agree, a short note on a potential drawback or limits can make your essay stronger.
tip
Be careful with names of places or facts; if you use real examples, make sure they are accurate or clearly labelled as examples.
tip
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each paragraph to show what the paragraph will discuss.
tip
Link ideas inside the paragraph with simple, clear words like 'for example', 'in addition', 'as a result'.
tip
Keep the language simple and precise; avoid long sentences that may hide mistakes.
strength
Clear stance and steady position throughout the essay.
strength
Strong use of examples to back up the main points.
strength
Conclusion restates the view clearly and ties the essay together.
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