IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think high school students should volunteer to benefit the community.

Some
people
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 believe that high school
students
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 should be required to undertake unpaid voluntary work to benefit their
community
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. I strongly agree with
this
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 view, as
such
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 activities not only cultivate empathy but
also
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 equip young
people
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 with essential skills for future professional success. One major benefit of mandatory volunteering is that it helps teenagers develop a deeper sense of empathy. By engaging directly with those in need,
students
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 gain firsthand insight into the challenges faced by vulnerable members of society,
such
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 as the elderly,
homeless
Correct article usage
the homeless
show examples
, or
underprivileged
Correct article usage
the underprivileged
show examples
.
This
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 experience encourages them to become more compassionate and socially responsible individuals.
Furthermore
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, their involvement can inspire peers to participate, creating a positive ripple effect within the school and wider
community
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.
For instance
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,
students
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 at Coventry College in the UK organised a shelter initiative during a severe polar vortex, providing refuge for around 200 homeless
people
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.
This
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 not only offered immediate practical help but
also
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 enhanced the
students
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' reputation as proactive and caring citizens. Another compelling reason is that volunteering prepares adolescents for the demands of the workplace. Modern careers often involve high levels of stress, tight deadlines, and the need for effective teamwork. Regular
community
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 service allows
students
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 to hone crucial transferable skills, including time management, multitasking, problem-solving, and clear communication. These experiences enable them to approach professional challenges with greater confidence and competence. A notable example comes from a survey in Japan, which found that graduates who had participated in
community
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 service prior to employment consistently outperformed their peers in workplace performance, contributing to higher productivity and profitability for their companies. In conclusion,
while
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 volunteering may require a significant time commitment from already busy high school
students
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, I firmly believe that the long-term advantages—fostering genuine empathy and building practical skills for adult life—far outweigh any drawbacks. Encouraging young
people
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 to contribute to society ultimately strengthens both individuals and communities for a more prosperous future.

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task response
Keep a clear view in the intro and restate it in the end.
task response
Add one more point or a small counter view to show balance.
coherence
Link ideas with more bridge words to move from one idea to the next.
coherence
Use simple, specific examples or facts to back up points.
task response
Clear position and strong support.
coherence
Good use of real life examples.
coherence
Well laid out paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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