IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of how parents in a country spent time taking care of their children in the evening in 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart provides the information about how the
parents
Use synonyms
are spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 time for their
children
Use synonyms
 to taking care of in the evening in the year of 2022. It has
categoriesed
Wrong verb form
been categorised
show examples
in to
Use the right word
into
show examples
 four
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as Dressing, homework, playing games and preparing
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 bed.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that mothers are taking care of their
children
Use synonyms
 with dressing as the highest level.
While
Linking Words
 fathers are not good at
on
Correct pronoun usage
it on
show examples
 their own in all the fields.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, mothers are highly capable of taking care of their
children
Use synonyms
 on their own to come
to
Change preposition
In
show examples
 dressing the
Use synonyms
children
Punctuation problem
children,
show examples
mother's
Check wording
mothers'
show examples
 contributions are around 75% in
while
Linking Words
father's
Check wording
fathers'
show examples
 contributions
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 only 3%
own
Use the right word
on
show examples
 their own.
In contrast
Linking Words
 23% is good
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
when both
parents
Use synonyms
together
Verb problem
are together
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 playing games with the
children
Use synonyms
both
Punctuation problem
, both
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 together makes a big difference
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 70%.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
mother's
Check wording
mothers
show examples
 always have a big impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
child
Check wording
child's
show examples
 life where
as
Change preposition
whereas
show examples
father's
Check wording
fathers
show examples
 have less influence.
More
Use the right word
Moreover
show examples
over
Punctuation problem
over,
show examples
 when it comes to both
parents
Use synonyms
 together makes a big difference.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words parents, children with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • Percentage
  • Parents
  • Spent time
  • Taking care
  • Children
  • Evening
  • 2022
  • Summarise
  • Information
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Relevant
  • Patterns
  • Trends
  • Highest
  • Lowest
  • Activities
  • Gender
  • Conclusion
  • Findings
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