The pie charts show the use of water in agriculture in 2004 and the value of product in Australia in the same year.

The pie charts give information concerning much percentage of
water
Use synonyms
utilised for six types of operations and the income from them,in 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that the most
water
Use synonyms
was used by vegetable and fruit growers, and they justified the
water
Use synonyms
consumption by the revenue they provided,
while
Linking Words
lime and cereals paid exactly as much as they spent.
To begin
Linking Words
with, in total there were given 6 products ,
such
Linking Words
as vegetables,lime,cereal,fruits, rice and dandelion.The vegetables accounted for 46% of
Use synonyms
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
, and the value of the product decreased to 31%.
However
Linking Words
, for fruits, the
water
Use synonyms
usage and income were different; 28% of the
water
Use synonyms
was consumed by
fruit
Correct article usage
the fruit
show examples
company, and they paid 12% more than they took 40%.The interesting part was on cereal,they used 12 per cent of
water
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, and exactly 12% they settled up. Based on the data given about the other three products ,the rice and dandelion took a similar amount of
water
Use synonyms
, both of them by 3%,but they had various shares of income.
While
Linking Words
the dandelion gave money 8 per cent of their earnings, the rice disbursed just a percentage.The
last
Linking Words
product was lime
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
they provided 8 percentage of their earnings from
water
Use synonyms
resources
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and transferred the same amount of money, 8%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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