IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people believe that isa good idea to express their points of views and ideas through social media while , other belive opposite . Who do you support or why ?

In the era of social
media
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, some
people
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 believe that direct
expression
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 of their point of view is a good idea,
while
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other
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others
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ones
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apply
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are against
this
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 behaviour. I strongly believe that social
media
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represent
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represents
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 a fundamental tool in our everyday life
but
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, but
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,
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apply
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 sometimes freedom of
expression
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 could be harmful. Looking at the news, there are too many
people
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 seriously damaged or offended by sentences written
in
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on
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 social
medias
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media
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and
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, and
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,
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apply
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 it could be harmful. I think that everyone should feel free to expose his/her ideas. Social
media
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 somehow
represent
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represents
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 the
winsdom
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wisdom
 of
expression
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 of
the
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apply
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single citizens in the contemporary world.
On the other hand
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, someone's
winsdom
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wisdom
 finishes where that
one
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apply
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of another subject begins.  Social
media
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 could be really harmful because, too many times
there
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, there
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 isn't a strict and precise rule to follow
and
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, and
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 many
people
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 feel free to offend
other
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others
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ones
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apply
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. In
this
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 way, bad habits and rude behaviours can be encouraged, particularly among young
people
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.
This
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 could represent a harmful problem because, for
istance
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instance
, in the youth period, children could be exposed to real hard sentences and,
sometimes
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sometimes,
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this
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 led to serious consequences. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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people
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shoud
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should
 accurately choose a good language and positive messages before writing their point of view on social
media
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.
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Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 adults should teach children how to avoid rude or offensive language in everyday life and, particularly writing their opinion
in
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on
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 social
media
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.
Government
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The government
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 should have
more strict
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stricter
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 rules and guarantee the respect of each other in the context of the internet world. It can be concluded that, in the era of social
media
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, even if
expression
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 of the own
tought
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thoughts
 is a fundamental right, damaging and offending other
people
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 should be prevented and punished by Governmental rules.

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planning
Plan your essay with a short plan. Put the main idea in the intro and repeat it in the end.
structure
Make a clear main sentence in the intro and restate in the conclusion.
cohesion
Use words that show how ideas are linked, like and, but, also, then, so.
grammar
Check for easy grammar and spellings. Use common words.
content
Give real and strong examples to back your points.
paragraphing
Keep one idea in one paragraph. Start with a short topic line.
tone
Be fair to both side. Do not just say one side is right.
content
The essay shows a clear view of the topic.
balance
It speaks about both sides of the issue.
content
There are signs of good ideas about harm for young people.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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