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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Sports programmes are very popular on television nowadays. Some people argue that those programmes are the reasons for poor health of many young people as the prefer to watch sports rather than partake in them. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Today, television
programmes
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 for sporting events are increasingly popular, so many
people
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 consider that young men and women are unhealthy
due to
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such
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programmes
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, as they enjoy viewing sports activities
instead
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 of taking an active part in them. In my opinion, I strongly disagree because I believe unhealthy
food
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 options and poor public
health
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 education are the prevalent causes of
this
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 phenomenon. First of all, one main factor causing the decline in
health
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 conditions of young
people
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 is the bad choices
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 diet.
This
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 is true because nowadays, there are quite a
number
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 of sweets and processed foods available in every market, which cost less than healthy
food
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, so many children prefer to buy and eat
such
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food
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 products.
For example
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, a majority of young
people
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 in the United States of America are facing high risk in
health
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, especially their body glucose levels,
due to
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 the increasing
number
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 of poor diet and their intense craving for them. If
such
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 unhealthy diets are not seriously checked, a significant
number
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 of these
people
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's
health
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 would continue to be adversely affected even if sports
programmes
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 on TV are duly controlled. Another point to consider is inadequate
health
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 education to the general public, which is a motive for the worrying
health
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 issues of young individuals. The reason for
this
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 is that the role of the government to relentlessly focus on and make the public aware of healthy lifestyle practices,
such
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 as exercise, and eating more fruits and vegetables , through various social media or in a
number
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 of
schools
Punctuation problem
schools,
show examples
 tends to be profoundly reduced.
This
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,
therefore
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, often renders many young men and women completely unaware of how to live healthily.
For instance
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, in October 2019, the Graphic newspaper reported that more than half of children in Ghana are not adequately informed about how they can maintain and
also
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 improve their
health
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 status. In conclusion,
due to
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 poor
food
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 choices and the availability of little
health
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 educational information, I entirely disagree that sports
programmes
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 on television are solely to be blamed for the unhealthy habits of the young ones.

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Task Response
Stick to one clear view. Start by stating if you agree or disagree, then argue for that view.
Coherence
Use simple linking words to connect ideas. For example: First, also, however, therefore.
Lexical Resource
Choose simple words and short sentences. This helps clarity and accuracy.
Grammar
Check grammar: subject-verb agreement, plural forms, and punctuation.
Strength
Clear position on the issue.
Strength
Overall organized structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
Strength
Uses examples to support points.
Strength
Some linking phrases used.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • physical activity
  • viewership
  • partake
  • health repercussions
  • screen time
  • role models
  • inspiration
  • motivation
  • advances in broadcasting
  • physical health
  • mental health
  • lifestyle choices
  • awareness campaigns
  • community sports programs
  • balance
  • engage in sports
  • influence
  • physical engagement
  • sports celebrities
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